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The entire hall went as quiet as a tomb as those bright, beautiful green eyes fastened on mine. I could see it dawning on her. Poppy’s lips parted.
And I knew that what I was about to do would stoke the fire in her to a violent inferno. My lips started to curve up in anticipation, and yes, there was definitely something very wrong with me.
I lifted our joined hands and spoke loud enough for the entire dining hall to hear. “We go home to marry, my Princess.”
PRESENT XII
“I really thought you were going to stab me again after I announced my plans to marry you,” I said, grinning as I lay beside Poppy.
The lamplit chamber was quiet as I talked, the surprisingly cool breeze stirring the curtains of the open windows. Word had arrived that my father was a few hours out from Carsodonia, and Kieran had left to ensure that his arrival didn’t ignite any unrest in the still-calm capital. I’d sent Delano with him, knowing that Perry would want to see him. It had taken some urging, but Delano finally relented.
I was actually…relaxed. The shadows beneath Poppy’s eyes were gone. Her skin almost felt normal. That fragile hope had grown, but it wasn’t the only reason I felt at ease.
Poppy would wake soon.
I couldn’t answer how I was certain of that, other than the knowledge, the sense, coming to me through the bond. Soon, those beautiful eyes would open, and she would know herself. I wouldn’t allow myself to believe anything else.
“So, I wasn’t at all surprised that you made a run for it. Picking a lock? Did I tell you how impressed I was? Not just with that but your utter fearlessness. Don’t get me wrong. I was also furious you’d make a run for it in the cold and with just—what was it? A supper knife?”
I could vividly recall how fiercely she’d fought me—and her desire that night and the days and weeks that followed. She hadn’t been the only one, though. I’d been in a state of denial.
I smothered a yawn as I tightened my arm around her waist. I searched my memories, looking for the moment I’d stopped pretending.
Had it been in the pantry when I stole a few kisses? Or before that, when Lord Chaney took her? I’d descended into a black rage when I saw her with those bite marks. But I hadn’t stopped pretending. Not even after that morning when I woke in bloodlust and feasted between her thighs instead of on her blood. Had it occurred when we arrived in Spessa’s End, and I saw her wonderment upon seeing the Atlantian outpost? Or had it been when I took her to the cavern?
“It wasn’t any of those moments,” I whispered. “I never pretended when it came to my want of you. From the first time in the Red Pearl to this moment, what I felt was real. It was always real because I…I’d fallen in love with you long before I realized it. I was on the edge before we even left Masadonia, and I began falling when we arrived in New Haven. By the time we made it to Spessa’s End, I knew I was in love with you.”
I swallowed, letting my eyes drift shut. In truth, the process of falling in love with Poppy had started in Masadonia. It had just taken me that time to realize I could be worthy of such an emotion after betraying her—after all I’d done. That I could allow myself to love and be loved without hesitation or conditions.
I turned my cheek, pressing a kiss to her temple, then told her about our time in Spessa’s End and how I’d felt when we talked—when we were finally honest with each other. I shared with her how it’d felt when we exchanged vows and struggled to put those emotions to words because none known did them any justice. And then I told her how stunned I’d been when we fought the Ascended in Spessa’s End and what she’d been willing to do to ensure my safety.
“There are similarities between your actions when we were surrounded and what…what Shea did. She, too, had been willing to do anything. But…” I cleared my throat. “I’ll tell you about that when you wake. What really happened.”
Kieran was right.
Poppy would understand.
It was just something I still had to come to terms with.
Kissing the spot beside her ear once more, I began telling her more. Those moments in the carriage after the battle in Spessa’s End, and then the trip to the Skotos. My eyes stayed closed through it all, and the pauses between what I said grew longer and longer until I drifted off to sleep.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d slept, but what felt like icy fingertips against the nape of my neck stirred me—a primordial warning that went deeper than the elemental instinct. It woke me at once.
