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I took a deep, centering breath. If there was one thing I knew how to do well, it was kiss Jem Sinclair.
But that night, something was off with Jem. His timing was messed up, and he looked a million miles away. It was very unlike him. If nothing else, the man was 100 percent on every night.
At first, I wondered if he’d heard the news about the article and it had made him self-conscious, but when it finally came time for the scene with the kiss, I got close enough to see the weariness in his eyes.
The man was exhausted. He had a hint of dark smudge under his eyes, barely visible under the makeup. But when I kissed him—first his lips and then under the eye where I’d seen the dark circle, I tasted salt.
Like from dried tears.
I pulled back and blinked at him, but half a beat later, the cue came for us to sit back down at the table and continue the scene.
After that, I watched him walk through the rest of the show like he was pulling it together from nothing but muscle memory. His performance wasn’t bad—probably not even noticeable to anyone in the audience—but it was disconcerting to me. Even John, who played Alfred, mentioned it after the final curtain call.
“What’s up with Jem? Is he sick?”
One of the guys from wardrobe shook his head as he took pieces of my costume as I shucked them off. “Nah, man. Family issues. Poor guy’s got some shit going on at home. Sounds like he got out of here just in time. I thought he was going to lose it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. The wardrobe guy’s name was Chris. I was pretty sure he was one of the guys who lived in the apartment next door to me. I didn’t pay much attention since I usually had my earbuds in and my nose in a script, but I’d seen him coming and going.
“Not sure it’s my place to say, but let’s just say I’m glad the weekend is over so he can get some time off. Don’t worry. He’ll be good to go for Wednesday’s show.”
“I wasn’t worried about the show,” I said.
John frowned. “He need any help? You know this show is a family. If he needs support, we’re there for him, man.”
Chris grinned. “He’s cool, but I’ll tell him.”
After that, I had to let it go. Clearly some of the other guys knew him better, were closer to him, could be the friends he clearly needed.
But when Wednesday’s show rolled around and he still seemed off, I was like a man possessed. I wanted to make him smile, make him laugh… somehow distract him from this funk and give him, for at least those two hours onstage, a break from whatever he was going through.
He could hate me the other twenty-two hours of the day.
But for two hours on that stage, Jem Sinclair was mine… and I was going to remind him of that.
3
JEM
It turned out I was going to be an uncle… if the stress didn’t kill me first.
My sister, Lina, had shown up at the theater Friday afternoon to notify me that she was pregnant, which in itself would have been amazingly wonderful news. I loved her boyfriend, Garret, like a brother, and he was one of the best things to ever happen to either of us. They were perfect for one another.
But despite being together for twelve years, she and Garret had a volatile relationship. Neither was happy unless they were embroiled in drama, so of course, Lina had decided to take this opportunity to leave her baby daddy.
Unfortunately, Lina and I had a past that made us a little needy and insecure when it came to love. My father had never been in the picture, and my mother cared about her career on the stage way more than her two children.
We’d grown up moving from place to place on my mother’s whims. She was a popular stage actress who’d followed the roles she was given. I’d pretty much grown up backstage among cast and crew from Atlanta to New York to Chicago and LA. We’d even lived in Vietnam for a time and traveled all over the world with the touring production of The King and I. It had been my dream to finally take the stage myself, and now, here I was.
Only, now here Lina was too. Putting her nose in my work affairs and jeopardizing my career.
After dropping the drama bomb Friday, my sister had stopped in at the theater no less than three times this weekend to cry and gnash her teeth about raising a baby on her own. I tried reassuring her that she and Garret always found their way back to each other, but she wouldn’t hear it. Her emotions were all over the place, which she blamed at least in part on the pregnancy hormones.
