AllFreeNovel
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With the quiet, the TV paused on the credits, and the glowing space, I start diving down a rabbit hole, imagining our first time together. Was it like an explosion of passion? Fast and forceful? Or slow and sensual? How did he take her? He said they wore masks one time…or maybe it was more than once.
Will he even want to have sex with me if I don’t have those memories?
“You like the show?” he asks, even though my brain is halfway down his pants. I want him all the way down mine.
“Yeah, it was epic.” I look to the TV. “I’m definitely going to do a rewatch sometime, see if I can pick up any hints that I missed.”
“We were gonna go to a convention next month together in San Francisco, if I can get off work. The actors will be there.”
“Really?” I smile. “We’re still going?”
“That’s what I was gonna ask you.”
“I’d go with you.”
He smiles. “I’ll put it in my calendar. Doodle stars and planets next to it.”
“With glitter pen.”
“Only glitter pen.”
I start to smile too. I wonder if this is an official date, but we don’t bring it up. As he collects our snack trash, cleaning up, my stomach tightens. I’m not ready for him to leave.
Stay.
“Did you care a lot about your virginity?” I ask out of left field. It brings him back down to the sofa, and honestly, I could stay up talking to him for hours upon hours, or really, just be with him doing nothing at all. At the way he’s looking at me, I wonder if he could too.
“Why do you want to know?” he breathes.
I shrug. “You know I didn’t care a lot about mine. I was just thinking about yours.”
“Did I care about it?” Donnelly thinks, outstretching his arm on the back of the couch right behind me. “Not really. I lost it in the most unspectacular way possible. Back of a Chevy. Girl told her friend, who then told someone else.”
Kinda sounds like a typical first time, I guess. “Would you have changed it, if you could’ve?”
“Maybe not.” He looks up at me. “Everything I’ve ever been through has led me to better things. If I changed a part, maybe I wouldn’t have found you.”
It tries to swell inside me, but I can’t remember everything that led me to Donnelly. Frustrations attempt to invade, but I try to banish them.
“Do you want to…?” I start to ask softly, but I sense his hesitance. “I was just going to see if you wanted to sleep in my bed with me again—we don’t have to do anything.”
“I want to,” he breathes.
I’m bracing myself for the incoming rejection. “But we can’t?”
“But I don’t think we should.” He scratches the back of his head, trying to wipe pain off his face. For me, I think. He doesn’t want to hurt me. “We’ve gotta be slow about this, and plus, I don’t wanna kick you in my sleep.”
Right. He had a nightmare when we slept in the same bed, and I couldn’t do much to help him.
I don’t want to make this harder on Donnelly either. “Slow,” I nod. “I agreed to slow and I can do slow.” I can try, at least. “You’re just a very irresistible human.”
His lip rises. “Trust me, I feel the same about you, space babe.” With this, he presses the most tender, electric kiss to my forehead, and he elevates off the sofa like a figure of my imagination. I’m in a dream state as we say our goodnights, as he’s left for his bedroom.
I star-fish the couch, a gooey mess of giddy feelings. I look to my furry Newfie. “Did Original Luna feel like she flew a billion lightyears in his presence too?”
Orion perks up, as though I said, time for bed.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” I smile.
DONNELLY’S DAILY PLANNER
FRIDAY, NOV 30TH
Today’s Focus: festivities and all that birthday magic for Luna’s 21st. Gotta smother her with it (politely).
To Do:
Tattoo Akara + Banks their forever wedding bands. (Still honored they asked me.)
Check in on Xander’s detail. Happy to be back.
Maintain texting relationship with Dad?
Best birthday party!! Only happy things for my space babe.
Notes: Heard from the boss man that Alpha & Epsilon threw a big ole pissy pants party after hearing I want to be with Luna. Won’t let ‘em bring me down. Not sure how Akara’s gonna smooth things over with Triple Shield yet. Need to find a penny to throw in a wishing well for him. Where are all the pennies? Baby Maeve is a nighttime wailer. She’s cute tho. Also! My psych eval is scheduled for Dec 10. Do not forget.
Quinnie is avoiding me. Think I messed that up bad. Maximoff + Farrow headlines are bonkers. Countdown to their second baby is on and it’s fucking maaaadness. I’d be hyped too. (I am hyped.) Things with Beckett are meh. Could be better. Haven’t had time to meet up or anything. Still feels like we need another face-to-face chitchat at least. Good things, Lily should be released from the hospital soon. Glad she’s ok. Really glad.
