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I just want to live there with her.
She says, “And we’re the kind of friends that don’t fuck each other.”
I laugh. “Girl, that’s ninety-nine percent of my friendships.” I tilt my head. “The one percent was always just you.” She was the only friend I’ve ever fucked.
Luna finally smiles, her lips slowly rising, and it shines down on my whole world. “So it shouldn’t be that difficult?” She crouches to pet Orion, her eyes still up on me. Everything about Luna effortlessly draws me into her stratosphere. Fuck, I’d take her on the rug right now if I could. The way she’s looking at me, I know she’d want me to.
I can’t.
Made promises and all.
“Nah, it’s gonna be very difficult to keep my hands off you, space babe.”
She nods, like she gets it. “Same.”
Same.
It does feel like we’re the same at times.
And I know better than to linger in her room for longer than ten minutes. Even with our invisible wall, I’m not sure how long it’ll hold. “You wanna eat?” I wonder.
“Tomorrow. My stomach feels kinda messed up.”
“I’ll put yours back in the fridge.” I go to her dresser and collect the Tupperware meatloaf I left behind.
“Thanks.” Her face has fallen a bit. She stays knelt beside her dog. “Xander knows. All of my siblings know.”
I solidify in place. “Know what?”
“Why you were at my house. How we like one another and my dad said we can’t date yet.”
Like is an understatement to what I feel for Luna, but I’ve already told her that I’m in love with her the night of our first kiss. She expressed love back, so I’m thinking maybe she’s just protecting the depth of her feelings.
“What’d Xander say?” I ask.
“He just ran.”
Concern slams against me, and I nearly bolt towards my room for my radio. “Where?”
“To his bedroom—he’s okay,” she adds fast. “Or, maybe not, but he’s at least with my parents. Moffy talked to him a ton.”
I grimace. “He didn’t take it well then.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t really talk to him, so I can only guess why he’s upset.”
I’m trying not to drum up bad theories. It’s better if I just talk to my little elf and see what’s wrong. I sigh out, then nod. “Well, my boss hasn’t called me and said I’m being transferred, so it can’t be that bad if your brother still wants me to protect him.”
Though, that could change at any point. The fact that it hasn’t tonight is the positive I’m pocketing like a Lucky Charm. Gonna ride the marshmallow to a pot of gold, hopefully.
She hugs an arm around Orion. “I think the rumor Delilah Avalon spread about Xander yesterday is being overshadowed by my leaked fics. It probably won’t gain any steam, so that’s good at least for him.”
Xander had been pretty anxious about the lie spreading online. The one where Delilah said he had sex with her after homecoming.
I wouldn’t call Luna being blasted in tabloids “good” but I’m not gonna squash her fledgling positivity, so I let it linger.
“He’ll be alright,” I breathe.
She nods, quiet again.
I’m about to go soon.
I don’t really want to, but at least I won’t be far.
She swallows hard, her throat bobbing. “I understand why we can’t be together.”
I turn back to her. “Yeah?”
“I’m not living in a delusion. Your family could try to hurt me like they tried to hurt Beckett, right?”
I stiffen. Go cold.
She winces. “I don’t want to dig out things you don’t want to share. I really don’t—”
“You’re not,” I say softly, the words ache inside my throat. “You’re not, Luna.”
She intakes a bigger breath. “I know you’ve told me a bit about your past, but I just want to know more about your family. And I’m not your girlfriend. I get that I’m only a friend now who’s waiting for you…for us. Maybe I haven’t earned anything more.”
“You don’t have to earn it,” I say, then stare at Moondragon swimming happily in the fishbowl. It’s easier looking away, not seeing her reaction. “But I dunno. It’s not like you can meet my parents. These pieces of my life aren’t touching you. I’m making sure of that.”
“It doesn’t mean I don’t want to know…and there are pieces of my life that I’ve never shared with you. Things I don’t even think could have been spread through the bodyguard rumor mill.”
I know that.
I look at her, and there’s a heaviness in her eyes. Sex addiction, media, past hookups that’ve hit tabloid headlines—those are things she hasn’t wanted to talk about. There’s been more, definitely. I’ve always known she’s more than the rumors I’ve heard.
She’s told me some stories of being bullied, but to what extent, I can’t be so sure either. Luna guards a lot of memories like I do.
Do I want to know more? Yeah, I want to know every last detail of her life. Of who she is. It’s a hunger. An urge, and she must be craving the same from me.
