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The ritual is going to tear him to pieces, but given time, he’ll start to heal. Then one day, maybe he’ll make another girl as happy as he makes me.
A pang of jealousy bursts through my chest as I help myself to Sawyer’s snacks in the fridge. I’m busily scarfing them down when movement out on the balcony catches my eye, and I find Zade standing alone, staring out over the busy city.
I want to go to him, only I hesitate, not really sure where we stand after last night. He doesn’t exactly strike me as the type to get on his knees and confess his undying love, but I know it’s on his mind. It has to be, right?
My hands shake. I felt so brave last night, but I had the adrenaline of being kidnapped and rescued pulsing through my veins. Plus, under the cover of darkness, I could keep myself concealed. He wouldn’t have been able to read me the way he can in broad daylight.
Not willing to just forget it ever happened, I let out a shaky breath before making my way out to the balcony and closing the door behind me, offering us a little privacy. I silently stand next to him, not quite touching, but closer than I would usually, and as I go to glance up and meet his eyes, the loud roar of a Harley Davidson rumbles through the streets below.
My gaze drops, cringing as I watch Dalton flying through the streets. “Where the fuck is he going?” Zade questions, shaking his head.
“Who? Dalton?” I question, avoiding his heavy stare. “Oh, that wasn’t him. You must be confused. Dalton was heading up to the roof to shoot hoops. He’s definitely not heading home to find the joint hidden in his bedside drawer.”
“The fuck?” Zade mutters.
“He’s a big boy,” I remind Zade. “He can handle himself. Besides, it’s not as though he took me along with him. I’m still right here where you can see me. Though props to you for not keeping me chained up. We’ve come so far.”
“You’re infuriating, Oakley.”
A stupid smile stretches across my face as I turn my gaze back to the busy city, taking it all in as the sun slowly begins its descent. I inch in closer to Zade, needing to feel that closeness from him while not knowing what the hell to say. I need to know where we stand, if last night was just a one-off, or if this thing between us is as real as it is with the others, but he’s not exactly the easiest man to talk to. Our track record hasn’t been great.
I worry my bottom lip, trying to convince myself that I’m content with just being near him when he lets out a heavy sigh and reaches for me, pulling me in front of him as his hands fall to the balcony on either side of me, keeping me caged.
“I don’t know how to do this, Lamb,” he tells me. “I don’t know how to be with you while knowing that I have to be the one responsible for tearing your heart out of your fucking chest.”
“Then don’t,” I say, spinning in his arms and meeting his dark stare. “Let’s take off. You, me, and the boys. We can get out of here, put Empire behind us and start fresh in a new place, not having to worry that someone is trying to end my life every second of the day. We could have a real future together.”
Zade pushes back from me, his hands fisting in his hair. “FUCK.”
He starts pacing, moving up and down the balcony before his intense stare comes back to mine. “This was supposed to be easy, Oakley. I was supposed to watch over you for two months, keep you at a distance and then sacrifice you. This . . . you and me . . . this was never part of the plan. Before I met you, I could see it all so clearly. The leadership was right there in my grasp, and now I’m barely holding on to it. You’re fucking everything up. You’re making me question everything I’ve worked for.”
I shake my head, stepping toward him, willing my eyes not to fill with tears. “Falling in love is never supposed to be easy,” I tell him, reaching out to take his hand, only he pulls it away. “It’s supposed to challenge us, force us to find a compromise. Love isn’t selfish, Zade. It’s raw and honest. It’s about giving your heart in the purest way and hoping that person doesn’t destroy it.”
I step into him again, this time forcing him to stop and accept me as I press my hand to his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath my palm. Looking up, I let him see the sincerity in my eyes, the raw truth. “I am literally giving you my heart, Zade, and I’m begging you not to break it.”
