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And I’ll be going back to my place.
The house I had constructed after my twenty-first birthday, after my graduation from college.
The house I lived in while I was on break during college.
It’s been waiting for me all this time, and I haven’t yet spent a night there since I got out. I didn’t want to risk losing time with Raven.
My house is a large ranch on the Bellamy property. Hawk, Eagle, Robin, and Raven all have their own homes on our property too. I haven’t seen any of them. There wasn’t time when I got furlough, and I wasn’t all that interested anyway.
I was interested in getting laid, and I did.
I expected it to be something amazing, but it was just a fuck. A couple fucks, actually, with three women.
None of which were as good as Savannah Gallo.
Sweet Savannah Gallo. The ultimate girl next door.
The ultimate girl next door who should stay the hell away from me.
I rub my hand over my forehead to ease the stress headache that’s erupting. She deserves better, and I should let her go. Let her go about her business and meet someone who’s good for her. This isn’t my old cellblock. I can’t just take what I want.
Which means I’m still going to the parole office tomorrow to get reassigned. That way, I’ll never have to see her again. Maybe I can get my records sent to a different office. After all, I don’t want to accidentally run into her when I visit my new officer.
I’ll make it all happen. The Bellamys can make anything happen.
I scoff out loud at the thought.
Not everything.
My family couldn’t keep me out of the slammer.
Someone had to go down for that dead cop, and it wasn’t going to be my brothers. We were all involved, and I, as the oldest, was responsible.
So I took responsibility. I copped to something I didn’t do, so my juvie brother wouldn’t have to cop to something he did do and have his life ruined.
I drive the familiar winding roads up to Mom and Dad’s ranch house, and I help Raven out of the car. I’m using one of Dad’s cars until I buy one of my own. That’s another thing to do this week. I got the cell phone, and now I need some wheels.
I pop the trunk, get out, and open the passenger door for Raven and offer her my hand.
She takes it. “Thanks, Fal.”
“Stay here a minute while I get your stuff.”
I walk to the trunk and grab her two bags, put them both in one hand, and hold my other arm out to her.
“I can walk by myself,” she says.
“Humor me.”
We get into the house where Mom is there to greet us. She kisses Raven’s cheeks. “Welcome home, honey. Everything’s set up in your room.”
“Thanks for letting me stay for a while.”
“You’ll stay as long as you need to. Until you get all your strength back.”
Raven nods. She still looks so weak, but at least she has some color in her cheeks.
My bone marrow did that.
I did that.
I’ve never been so grateful for anything.
I help Raven get settled, and then I say my goodbyes and head to my own place.
It’s a large ranch house, stucco with a little brick, on the family acreage used for housing. I walk in.
Damn.
It’s all the same.
The only thing missing is a dog.
I’d just gotten a dog when I went away. An adorable rescue pup named Sam. Raven took Sam in after I left and loved him as her own. Another reason I owe her. I saw him on furlough when Raven brought him to our parents’ house, but he didn’t remember me. Something else I missed. He growled when I tried to pet him. He’s a dog, so of course he didn’t remember me after seven years, but it still hurt a little.
He’s gone now. Died six months ago. Cancer.
I didn’t shed a tear when I heard. Prison hardened me, and I won’t get back that part of me that it took.
Maybe I can’t have Savannah, but I can still have a pet.
Right after I visit the parole office tomorrow, I’ll go to the shelter and get a dog.
A dog who needs me as much as I need him or her.
Mom and Dad used to breed golden retrievers when we were little, but they gave that up a while back. I love goldens, but I’m a true sucker for a pup that needs me. A pup that didn’t ask to be brought into the world and only wants some love.
I can do that.
Dogs are easy to love. A hell of a lot easier than people.
I love my family. My parents, my brothers, my sisters.
But I’ve never loved anyone else. Not any of my old high school or college girlfriends.
Maybe Leif. My best friend.
But no more.
