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“Yet you’ll happily let her endure a year believing I’m dead?”
He shrugged. “Call it character building.”
“Fuck you,” I snarled. “Fuck. You.”
He curled his upper lip. “Think of it this way, if she finds another while you learn who you truly are, then she was never meant to be yours. She was lying, and I’d rather you wait to see if she is loyal than be blindsided when she betrays you.”
“She would never betray me.”
“I guess you’ll know soon enough, won’t you?”
“I hate you,” I hissed.
“And she thinks you are dead.” He shrugged almost sadly. “And really, that isn’t a lie. Aslan Avci is dead. The boy she hid with her parents’ help did die. I think he died the day you murdered her rapist.”
I flinched.
I choked on tears.
I’d protected her through bloodshed, and it fucking killed me that I couldn’t do it now. I would kill my own flesh and blood for a single phone call to tell her I was okay. That I would see her again. Love her again.
That awful depression was back.
It sat heavily on my chest, crushing me into the carpet.
You’re weak.
You’re not worthy.
Let her go.
Why would she take you back when you’re in pieces?
Shaking my head, I warred against those miserable lies.
I’m strong.
I’m worthy.
I’m going back to her...somehow.
My heart skipped an annoying beat, not knowing if it should listen to sorrow or to hope.
So what if I was missing half my left leg?
That didn’t define me.
So what if I’d been going stir-fucking-crazy in this room?
I was still functioning.
I was still alive.
I was adapting.
She won’t be adapting.
She’ll be fucking breaking.
My hands balled.
He’ll pay for this.
Fucking hell, he’ll pay.
What I did to Ethan would be nothing compared to what I did to him. For the agony he let Neri endure. For the separation he’d forced us to suffer.
As if sensing my unravelling violence, Cem stood upright and glanced at the guards. “Pick him up.”
Instantly, hands wrapped under my arms and hauled me to my foot.
I tried to shove them off me, but they held fast, making me growl like an animal. An animal that would resort to biting and going feral if it meant I could get out of here.
She’s here.
In Turkey.
If I could just get to her.
If I could use my knives and escape—
“There will be no escape, Aslan,” Cem muttered, reading the burning emotions in my eyes. “In fact, I see that my procrastination in resuming your education was because I was so hopeful. I cannot tell you the happiness I felt hearing you’d killed someone. You avenged your lover. You spilled his blood and mutilated his body, all in the name of loyalty and love.”
Stepping into me, his eyes held mine. “You think you’ll never stoop to hurting another again, but I’m telling you now, you will. You have that fire within you. You have that fury. Every person has good and bad, light and dark, and I hate to tell you, Son, but we—you and me— embody more darkness than light. You are my son, Aslan. Knowing you’ve taken a life just makes you all the more special to me. I need you as my heir, not my accountant. And it’s finally time to make that a reality.”
Marching out of the walk-in wardrobe, he barked, “Bring him. We’re going to the catacombs.”
“What? No.” I fought. I kicked my good leg against the door frame as I was dragged out. “I don’t want to go back down there.”
Two more guards appeared.
Without speaking, they grabbed my full leg and half leg and whipped them out from underneath me.
“Get the fuck off me!”
I went rogue.
I thrashed and squirmed.
I kicked and punched.
But nothing helped.
The four men didn’t drop me or let me go.
“Don’t tire yourself out, Aslan,” Cem muttered. “We have a big day ahead of us. Today is the day we begin your training for real. No more short lessons. No more half-strengths. Today is the day I break you, so I can mould you into who you truly are.”
Chapter Forty-Four
*
Aslan
*
(Heart in Maori: Ngakau)
*
Two years...
“AGAIN,” CEM COMMANDED.
I didn’t have time to tense before the familiar zapping surge of electricity tore through my muscles.
My teeth clamped down on the rubber bit shoved in my mouth.
My hands spasmed.
My bones smoked.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t—
The sizzling, snapping pain suddenly stopped, and my entire body went from seized to floppy. Gentle hands landed on my sweaty cheeks. The rubber bit was removed from between my teeth. My father’s face appeared in my still jerky vision. “You are my son. You are strong and smart and ready to take your place at my side. Who are you, Aslan?”
His words weaved around my electrocuted brain. The mind-washing was familiar. Implanted thoughts that didn’t belong slowly wriggled their way into my psyche.
I’d lost track of time.
My skin was pale from lack of sunlight.
The strength I’d cultivated from exercise had long since wasted away.
