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I didn’t want to know.
I wouldn’t fucking survive if my body betrayed me as well as my mind.
But I couldn’t stop her.
Couldn’t throw her across the room or smash in the mirror.
Cem still believed I was fully under his control.
I wouldn’t let him believe otherwise. Not yet. Not until I had a chance at finally getting free.
I couldn’t breathe as the girl’s head bobbed up and down. Whoever was watching would have a perfect view of her bare ass as her mouth pumped between my spread legs.
It would look convincing.
It felt convincing.
I gritted my teeth as the violation of her mouth proved that sometimes an act of love could be done out of desperation. Both of us were trapped. Both of us hated the other.
A few minutes ticked past while she worked on me.
The horror that I might respond slowly faded as I shrivelled inside.
The longer she sucked me, the more I shut down until I didn’t feel her. Didn’t feel her mouth or touch or much of anything.
I was numb.
Just like I’d been for almost two years.
And I liked it.
It let my mind skip to other scenarios.
I wouldn’t be able to fuck her.
With the cameras angled all around us, the footage would show I faked it. There was no way I could have sex with this girl without it being completely fucking obvious that I was soft.
Cem was shot in the groin.
The thought exploded in my head. The memory of Emre telling me the story of Cem’s unfortunate shooting roared in my ears.
Is it true?
If it is...
I moved before I even knew what I was doing.
Wrenching the girl off my lap, I shoved her back and threw one of the cashmere blankets from the bed at her. “Here.”
She licked her lips and grabbed the blanket. Her face shot white. “W-What are you going to do? I-I did what you said. I even went so far to actually do it. Despite every bone in my body saying it was wrong.” Tears shot to her eyes. “I did what you said! Now you have to help me. Keep your side of the bargain and—”
“Enough.” Soaring to my feet, I grabbed my cane and limped with my pants undone and my soft cock out all the way to the mirror. I showed my shame. I let the world see my defection.
Because I wasn’t the only one with this problem.
My impotence came from true love.
My father’s came from a bullet.
I’d never seen him with a woman.
Never heard him fucking or smelling of perfume or lust when he came to hurt me.
It was a gamble, but one that I was bold enough to play.
“You want me to fuck her, baba?” I growled into the mirror. “Well, I can’t. I can’t get it up. I’m broken...just like you.” I grabbed myself and jerked. “My cock doesn’t work. I can’t sire a child. I can’t fucking get hard or—”
The door to the room slammed open.
Cem stumbled inside. His usually handsome face was drawn and eyes wide with horror. Charging toward me, he wrapped me in the tightest embrace, all while my hand remained locked around my useless cock.
Useless, unless Neri was near.
But he didn’t need to know that.
He would never know I couldn’t keep my hands off her. That I could come just from being inside her. That we’d have sex twice, three times a day, and each time she made my world ignite. Being with her was spiritual as well as sexual. Being with her was where I came alive.
As far as he was concerned, I was a pointless virgin who shared the same affliction as his mutilated father.
“You know about me?” He pulled back. He didn’t spare the girl a single glance, his entire attention on me. “You know? How?”
I nodded as I stepped out of his embrace and tucked myself away. Zipping up my slacks and buckling my belt, I said, “Emre told me. It was why you were so set on finding me. You couldn’t have another child. You were shot—”
“Right in my dick. I almost bled out.” He flinched. “When I woke up, I was a completely different man to the one I’d been when I heard the gun go off.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I lost both my testicles and half my cock.”
“I’m—”
“I haven’t been able to find pleasure in almost three decades.”
“I—”
“To hear that you live that same nightmare?” He shook his head. “Fuck, it kills me, Aslan.”
I pointed at the girl. “It wasn’t her fault. As a present to me, release her. Let her go. She tried. She was willing and obedient. She deserves to be allowed to go home.”
Cem threw an unreadable look at the girl. Finally, he nodded. “Fine, yes, I’ll let her go.” Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he guided me toward the door. “Let’s go home. I’m sorry about this. I-It won’t happen again.”
