AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I can’t believe I’m here, in the safety of Zeb’s arms.
His face is serene and peaceful as he sleeps, lips softly parted, his chest rises and falls in slow, steady breaths. I sigh with contentment, but then the events of the previous day come back to me and I cringe.
My dirty secret is out in the open, something I’ve tried to hide from those I care about the most.
It’s time to face reality.
I gently extricate myself from Zeb’s embrace and try not to wake him as I slip out of bed. I tiptoe toward the bathroom, where a warm shower awaits me.
After a few seconds to warm the water, soothing steam fills the air and engulfs me in its comforting embrace. One glance down and there’s no way to deny the ligature marks around my wrists and ankles. Shame overcomes me as I stand under the water, wishing it could wash away my lies.
Lies needed to protect my roommates from Scott’s madness.
My thoughts spin and twist with what happened yesterday. How I allowed Scott to do things that frightened me. How his dark eyes filled with the need to hurt me.
I wish I could make it all go away.
I wish Zeb hadn’t seen the marks. My fingers press against my throat, feeling at the tender skin where Scott strangled me.
Tears fill my eyes and mingle with the water flowing over my body. I don’t know what to do. I tried leaving him, but when he cornered me outside the library several weeks ago, and gave his ultimatum, there was only one choice.
A shiver creeps down my spine, making me shudder and regret the choices I made.
The hot water, however, soothes away the tension in my body; each muscle slowly relaxes as if being kneaded by skilled hands. This sense of peace won’t last. I’ve been ordered to return to Scott later tonight, after he’s done teaching for the day, where I will endure more pain.
No matter how hard I scrub, no amount of soap and water can wash away my shame. I scrub and scrub and scrub and scrub until my skin is pink and raw. As I turn off the shower, a gentle knock from the other side of the bathroom door makes me jump.
“Kaye?” It’s Zeb and his mellow voice is filled with concern. “Are you okay in there?”
I take a deep breath and compose myself before answering.
“Yes.” My voice sounds small, weak, and so very unsure.
I squeeze my eyes shut, as if that will make me disappear. I can’t face Zeb. I can’t face him because he knows. He knows where I’ve been and what I’ve done. He knows about my terrible secret.
I wish I could follow the soapy water down the drain and disappear for good.
“Are you decent?” He calls to me from the other side of the door.
Scott would never allow me the dignity of privacy. He’d barge in and take what he wanted.
“Yes.” I wrap a towel around my body.
The door opens and Zeb peeks inside, concern etching his face as he takes in my dripping wet hair. While my body may be covered by the towel, my neck remains bare. My ankles and wrists too. From the widening of his eyes, and swift intake of his breath, the red marks discoloring the pale skin are visible.
I hate this. I hate having to endure the disappointment I see in his eyes.
Zeb steps into the bathroom until we’re face to face. He pulls me in for a hug, holding me silently as if he can sense this is what I need right now—nothing more than to be held without judgment or expectation.
He then shifts back half a step, but keeps a hold of my hands as he looks deeply into my eyes. “This isn’t okay. What he did isn’t okay.”
I can only nod, and stand mutely, since speaking about it would mean confessing not only what Scott did, but that I allowed it. I encouraged it.
That’s something I’m not ready to admit.
Not yet.
Maybe never.
