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“Yeah, Rafe and Hayes are thrilled about that.” Rosalie shakes her head. “Couldn’t wait to sayI told you so, even if this has nothing to do with Carmen’s father.”
I take in a deep breath and blow it out as slow as I can. “Honestly, I can’t believe I let Scott manipulate me like that. After all the time I’ve put into being a strong and independent woman, I cave to a bully of a man.”
My friends exchange a knowing look before Rosalie speaks up. “Sometimes it doesn’t matter how strong we are, some situations just have us feeling helpless. We’ve all been there.”
Carmen takes my hand in hers and squeezes it reassuringly. “We’ve all been in relationships that weren’t good. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not healthy. You need to focus on the future instead of dwelling on the past.”
I nod slowly as her words sink in, feeling better knowing they understand what happened and that they don’t judge me for it. That’s one of the best things about having such amazing friends; they always have my back no matter what I’ve done.
Rosalie furrows her eyebrows and slowly shakes her head, her gaze turning away from Carmen and toward me. The memories of her own abuse parades across her face as she relives some of the darkest moments of her life. Her fingers clench into fists.
In that moment, Carmen communicates an entire story with a flash of her eyes. Rosalie was a victim of abuse. And Carmen is silently expressing her unwavering support for her friend.
I know what it’s like to feel alone in the darkness, but thankfully, Carmen and Rosalie remind me I am not alone. That no matter what pain I’ve been through, or will go through, they will always be here to pick me up when I need it most.
Rosalie was never in a relationship with her abuser, Matias. He collected her when she was ten, to be Carmen’s maid, raped Rosalie that night, then spent the next decade terrorizing her as she was forced to endure his presence day in and day out.
He never touched her again, but only because Carmen convinced her father to grant Rosalie a protected status as Carmen’s playmate. In the end, Rosalie killed Matias in self-defense, after he captured her with the intent of doing vile things. We sit in silence for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts. Finally, I speak.
“When it comes to men, we’ve all had it rough, but I picked the man harassing me. I chose Scott. Which means I’m responsible for everything that’s happened since.” As I speak, my voice fills with guilt and self-loathing, and my body slumps as if the weight of my words is too much to bear.
Carmen and Rosalie both look at me with compassion and understanding.
Carmen speaks softly, “Stop.”
“But…”
“No. Stop beating yourself up about it.” She gives me a look, telling me she’s not going to let me blame myself. “It’s not healthy.”
Her words are a reminder that I’m not alone, and that I have their support and understanding. I take a deep breath and a sense of calm washes over me.
I have the strength to move forward.
“Well, I’m sorry the two of you are back here.”
“You mean back in Guardian jail?” Carmen arches a brow and a smile tries to work its way free.
“I don’t know why you think this place is bad. Zeb gave me the tour this morning. That’s where we were. He took me to breakfast, then we visited Bravo’s bullpen; I got to play with some cool tech gadgets at Mitzy’s Omega Facility, then we went to the gym and I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Carmen’s eyes round in shock. She and Rosalie exchange glances and cover their mouths.
“What’s wrong? What did I say?” I’m truly confused.
“Never say that out loud again.” Carmen places her hand on my shoulder.
“Say, what?”
“That Zeb took you to Bravo’s bullpen.” Rosalie takes a deep breath before answering me.
“Why not?” My eyes widen in surprise.
“It’s this unwritten rule the teams have. No women in the bullpens. Well, except for Delta. They have women on their team. But no outsiders are allowed. You can get Zeb in big trouble with his teammates if they find out.”
“I didn’t realize.” I cover my mouth. “Shoot, he did mention…” I look at the two of them. “You’re not going to tell Rafe and Hayes are you?”
“Never.” Carmen places her hand over her heart. “Your secret’s safe with us.”
“I feel bad.” It didn’t take me but a second to betray Zeb’s trust. “I’m horrible at this. I’m not used to keeping secrets.”
