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My heart squeezes knowing I’m the reason for the insecurity in her tone, letting the silence fight my own battles while I think of how to answer. In the end, I go with a lie. “I’m not.”
She sits up in bed, eyebrows furrowed in anger, the sheets falling down to her hips. I track the movement, my gaze lingering near her thighs.
“Look at me,” she says sternly, my eyes snapping back up immediately. “You haven’t talked to me since we got here,” she says defensively.
“We’re talking right now,” I answer without thinking, which only makes the tension between us simmer.
“Don’t be obtuse, Bastian. It does not suit you.” Her words are cold when they reach my ears, her arms folded over her loose shirt in protest.
“I’m sorry,” I say much too quickly. I mean it, but it doesn’t sound genuine while I turn around to reach for a clean shirt in my duffle bag. “I’m just really busy,” I add, throwing the shirt over my head. “This job is going to take longer than expected. I have to undo all their work. I can’t believe these idiots had any security at all with the jacked-up code they had written, and—” I stop myself mid-sentence, realizing my words must be bouncing off Lucy’s skin without making much sense to her.
I step closer to the bed, pushing my hair off my face as I do so. With the same hand—and without much thought—I reach over, my fingers hovering inches from her cheek.
I never get to feel her warmth under my touch before dropping my hand to my side. Her gaze slowly lifts up to mine and I let out a long sigh, dragging my palm over my mouth, before speaking. “I’ll come find you sometime today, okay? In the meantime, stick with London, yeah? I don’t want—”
I don’t finish my sentence, chewing on my words, deciding not to mention how I watched her through the cameras, playing pool with Barker yesterday. It shouldn’t have bothered me. But it did.
I should be the one teaching her how to play, not that dumb club fuck.
“You don’t want what?” Lucy repeats, defiance in the gleam of her eye. And fuck, am I enjoying watching her starting to push back. The fire she’s been forced to smother all of her life is now burning brighter and brighter every day.
I’m addicted to the sight.
“You’re beautiful to watch, you know that?” I say, too caught up in the sight of her to make sense of what she’s asking and answer her question.
Her eyebrows rise, mouth falling slightly agape, chin still raised up so she can keep my penetrating gaze. I wish I could just fall to my knees and cradle her face in my palms while I spend the morning counting the freckles across her nose and cheeks.
Instead, I force myself to leave.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” I say, my voice so tender that I can barely recognize it.
Lucy seems to have lost her voice, simply nodding, her stare still steadfast.
I suddenly feel pulled apart. Naked and vulnerable. So I give Lucy a half-hearted smile and turn on my heels, dashing out of the room like a bat out of hell.
* * *
I’ve been staringat the screen for so long that my vision starts to blur. It must have been hours by the kink in my neck. I lean back into the chair, rolling my shoulders, then stretching my arms above my head. My eyes fall to the cameras—where else would my attention be if not working?
My entire body jerks forward when I realize Lucy is leaning over top the pool table, cueing up a ball while Barker is standing right behind her.
The blinding and sudden rage that roars through me is undefinable, like trying to describe the different hues and colors of a dying star. I’ve never been out of a room so fast. It might be the first time in my miserable fucking life that I don’t overthink what I’m doing. My mind takes the backseat as I let my instincts take over. Stalking through a few half-lit hallways, I light a cigarette, leaving it propped between my lips while I slam the doors of the common area open, heading straight for the pool table.
Lucy notices me first, her eyes growing wide before I rip the cue out of her hands and turn to face Barker. He doesn’t even have time to protest before I take a swing, the wooden rod whistling through the air before hitting him square in the jaw. The brunt force makes him stagger back and before he can even think of shielding himself, the cue connects again with his forehead. This time he goes down.
“Bastian! What are you doing?” Lucy yelps in alarm.
I ignore her, swinging around as I take a long drag of the cigarette before flicking it on the ground. My gaze sweeps around the room. A few fuckers are staring, looking like they’re not sure if they should intervene. I find Kenzie standing near the bar with the president of the Colorado chapter, and he must see what I can’t articulate myself because they give each other a look before the prez speaks.
“Everybody out. This isn’t club business.” His voice is strong and clear, and the effect is immediate, bodies filling out of the room within seconds. Kenzie sends me a look of warning before disappearing into the hallway.
“Bastian?” Lucy says hesitantly. My gaze snaps back to hers. “He was just teaching me how to play pool.”
Even her just saying those words makes me want to hurl a chair through a window just so I can hear something shatter. I march over to Barker who’s still groaning on the floor near the wall. I grab him by his leather cut and pull him up as he tries to scramble to his feet.
He looks dazed, barely putting up a fight while I drag him to the couch closest to the pool table.
“Eyes on me,” I growl, while he falls into the cushion. “Got it?”
