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I have to grip the wheel tight and bite down on all the things I want to say—unforgivable things that can’t be taken back. I’m angry now, but my family is still my family. I can’t choose them, but that doesn’t mean I want to lose them. “Granny threatened to disinherit you, and Elmira threatened her daughter if you didn’t make the stupid engagement agreement when I was born. I know you both protested and hissed and spat about it, but in the end, they both got their way. You betrothed your three-year-old daughter via formal paperwork to some nine-year-old on the other side of the country, and then you didn’t tell me about it until yesterday. What am I missing here?”
“This can be a good thing. It doesn’t have to ruin your life.” My mom sounds pleading, probably even to herself. I’ve never heard her beg for anything in her life. She’s always had this quiet dignity that I respected and envied.
Well, poo on that.
I pull my car over to the side of the freeway a little too aggressively, making dust kick up behind me. I’m pissed off, but not as pissed off as my bladder is because I haven’t pulled over in forever, and I keep missing all the gas stations. The ones I did end up hitting to fill up my gas weren’t ideal. Like, peeing was barely possible there. Even if I were the world’s grossest, nastiest, poop-dwelling insect, I wouldn’t have peed there.
I flick my hazards on, which my mom can obviously hear clicking into the phone speaker.
“What’s that? Where are you? Are you in trouble? If you’re in trouble, we’ll fix it. We’ll help you. Just stay where you are. We’ll bring you home, and everything will be fine. I promise. You’re my daughter, Nina, and I love you.”
“Everything willnotbe fine. You might come and get me, but you’re not willing to break the engagement, are you?”
An uncomfortable beat of silence confirms my suspicion. I’m not being fair by telling her these things when we already hashed it out yesterday. This is just a repeat of the scene where I snatched the contract from my dad, dashed to my room, grabbed whatever cash I had on hand, my car keys, and a quick change of clothes, and then got the heck out of there before anyone could stop me.
To be clear, they did try and stop me.
There might have been a mad dash that involved my dad, my mom, my little brother, and my granny chasing me down the street while I ran like my life depended on it in the most practical of all footwear—fuzzy orange flip-flops.
Whatever. I wasn’t thinking clearly when I’d just been told that I’d been engaged for most of my life and didn’t even know it. One word kept repeating in my head and slamming through every single bit of my being.Escape. Escape. Escape.
“What happened? Did your car break down? Did you hit something on the road? Nina! Answer me! Where do you even think you’re going anyway?”
“I know you froze my bank accounts and credit cards. The only thing you haven’t done is cancel the plates on my car because if something happens and I’m driving it, we all know it’s worth a fortune, and Dad’s too smart at business to be on the hook for that and not receive insurance. He doesn’t want anyone to have a reason to sue him.”
“Nina Anne! Your father loves you! We both love you! You need to turn around and come home this minute. We froze your accounts so you wouldn’t get in trouble.”
“Sure you did, Mom. No, you froze them so that I’d have to do what you say. So that I’d be totally dependent on you. It makes total sense now why you were both always so protective. You weren’t watching out for me. You were saving me from lechers and stuff so I could be marriage material for good old Thaddius Wonderduck, my secret husband-to-be.”
I hear the long-suffering sigh on the other end. Maybe that’s not fair. Maybe it’s half-fair. But I’m too angry to care. And Ireallyneed to pee. “Wherever you are. We’ll send a tow truck for your car if you’re in trouble. And a cab to get you. Just please come home. We can talk about this.”
“We’re not going to talk about this because Granny isn’t willing to unbetroth me, and no one wants to lose their inheritance. You’re all completely unreasonable and, honestly, pretty farging crazy!”
“Young lady, I’ve taught you better language than that!”
“Really?” I rub my hands over my face. “We’re going there right now? I said farging! Farging, Mom! I think what I found out entitles me to say a whole lot worse! And I’m not even in the state anymore. I’m not telling you where I’m going until I get there. I have enough cash to do it. I’ll call you in a week. Or two.” That should give me enough time to take care of business. “That’s my promise. If you want to have any chance of working this out, then you need to promise me that you’ll leave me alone. A week, Mom. Or two if I need it. I mean it.”
“If you think we’re going to let our daughter remain god-knows-where for a week or more, you had better think again.”
“I’m going to be turning off my phone now, Mom. And it’s going to stay off. I won’t be answering calls, texts, or emails. I need some time and space to think. In under two weeks, I’ll be back home, and if there’s any way to fix this or repair our relationship, we can work at it then. Please respect that I need this time. This ismylife, and I want to live itmyway.”
“Is that a threat?” My mom gasps. I’ve never spoken to her like this before. I’ve never been this angry, flabbergasted, or shocked before. I’ve never had a reason to despise my parents, but it’s different now after finding out they lied to me my entire life.
Well, no, that’s not true. I don’t despise them, but I also have this feeling in my gut that says they traded my life away, signed it off to someone else, and also signed away my freedom in order to keep their inheritance. Yes, I’ve benefited from that money. And yes, I had a great childhood. I was fairly spoiled, and I had every opportunity. I went to a private school, and I have a year left to go for my degree, which was all paid for. Also, the car I’m driving, the clothes I’m wearing…all of it was paid for by them.
I just wish they could have been honest a lot sooner. I wish I had known it was reallymefunding everything because I had no future other than to give my life to a man I didn’t choose because, yeah, somehow,that’sgoing to unite our two families.
What the actual hot and spicy sandwich pickles is that nonsense?
“I have to go, Mom. I really need to pee.”
“You’re not going to use the facilities in some dicey area, are you? It’s not safe!” my Mom exclaims.
“Worse. I’m going to pee on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.”
“Nina! No! Have you lost your mind? I don’t even recognize you right now! You’re being reckless. You’re out of control, you’re—”
That makes two of us.“Bye, Mom. I’ll call you this time next week. I’m mad as heck, and I don’t understand any of this, but I still love you. All of you. I’ll be safe, and I’ll take care of myself. You don’t need to worry.”
