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fourteen
JESSA
With the heat blocker coursing through my veins, Alessandro can stare at me for as long as he wants, and I don’t have to worry about ruining my pants.
Thank the gods.
I feel entirely different, and while it’s not my normal, omega self, it feels right in this moment. It feels like everything is finally lining up for me, but there’s still one important piece missing.
I need to know how Alessandro feels.
I need to see if there’s anything there worth pursuing.
There’s still a chance all of this has been for nothing, and he isn’t interested in anything more than our workplace banter. If I’ve been misinterpreting his kindness, clinging to the idea of something that can never happen, I don’t know what I’ll do.
I want to figure out a way to ask him, but every time I go up to the bar, I lose my nerve. There are too many people around, and it feels like too intimate of a question to ask in public anyway. Besides, if I ask it now, he’ll probably think I’m joking, considering how playful I’ve been tonight.
He won’t take me seriously, even though I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.
I’m risking so much by even considering this. My job, our friendship, my dignity. If he says no, I can’t deny that I’ll be a little crushed. It might take a little while for my ego to get over it, but I’ll be fine.Eventually.
I’m sure it won’t be any sweat off his brow either way. He has betas lining up at the door, chomping at the bit for a chance with him. I’ll just be another name added to the list of women he’s politely rejected over the years, but I have to shoot my shot.
Maybe after I’ve had a shot or two myself.
Alcohol always loosens my tongue and gives me the liquid courage I need to do ballsy things, and this is one of the ballsiest things I’ve ever considered. Propositioning an alpha who’s seventeen years my senior, knowing full well the stigma that such an age gap holds in our society.
I’m willing to do it anyway.
Later, after I’ve harassed him with banter all night.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of watching you sling drinks,” I tell him while I’m waiting for one of my tables to fill their to-go plates and pay their bill. I lean against the bar, chin resting on my hands. “You should teach me how to do that.”
“Maybe one day.” He smirks.
He finishes up a pale pink drink in a tall glass and passes it to a woman at the other end of the bar before moving an empty dish rack underneath the back counter. Then, he lifts another heavy tray of clean glasses off a lower shelf and places it next to the cooler behind the bar.
“Careful, old man,” I joke, even though he lifts them like they’re weightless. “Don’t go throwing your back out.”
He chuckles, shaking his head as he begins to empty the rack, returning the various glasses to their designated spots behind the bar. “I’m not going to throw my back out.”
“Probably not,” I agree with a shrug before dropping my voice to a mumble. “But you can throw mine out later, Daddy.”
He stops dead in his tracks and stares me down, one of his eyebrows cocked. “What did you say?”
I freeze, the blood rapidly draining from my face. I thought it was funny, but Alessandro clearly isn’t laughing.
“Nothing.” I swallow hard. Maybe if I pretend it didn’t happen, he’ll let it go and forget I said anything at all.
His eyes narrow slightly, his expression darkening. “Liar. What was it?”
I press my lips together, feeling a little lightheaded, but I say nothing. When it’s clear I’m not going to repeat it, he leans over the bar and drops his voice.
"Clock out."
I stagger, confused.
"What do you mean, Alex?" I can hardly breathe, much less form coherent thoughts.
