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He slid across the couch until our thighs pressed together. The heat from his body, as well as his big frame beside mine, soothed that part of me that was on edge.
“Thanks.”
“No worries.” He leaned his shoulder against mine. The contact felt ten times more intimate than when we’d fucked.
Graham didn’t do casual touches, especially not with me. Was this because he knew I needed it? Or because he wanted it too?
“Shut your brain down for a few hours and just roll with it. I think we both need this tonight.”
“Yeah,” I said hoarsely and rested my hand on his strong thigh. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah.” He shifted closer.
The next ninety minutes both flew by and crawled as Graham and I sat on the couch like two middle-schoolers trying to figure out if they were on a date. The contact felt good, but the emotional closeness it fostered left me reeling while also making me want more.
By the time we said goodbye at his door, I was a wreck. I couldn’t deny that I had feelings for Graham, but did he have them for me? Tonight had been a turning point for us, but in which direction? Were we still enemies who fucked? That didn’t seem right. But we weren’t friends, not really.
Could we be? Maybe. I liked Graham, and he seemed to like me okay when he wasn’t being a dick. But was wicked sexual chemistry and our cooling hatred enough for us to be anything more than exactly what we were now?
The smart thing would be to cut contact now that we were in a decent place. Before any more of my pesky emotions got involved.
One thing I hadn’t told Graham, and swore to myself I never would, was the reason I didn’t date wasn’t because I was loving the single life. It was because when someone was mine, they weremine. I knew my attention could be stifling and a bit obsessive. I also knew it wasn’t healthy. But that was how I was wired, and after twenty-six years, I didn’t see it changing.
Graham might not be mine, but the more I was around him, the more I felt like he could be. Like heshouldbe.
Keeping things casual wasn’t possible, not anymore, but I wasn’t ready to walk away.
Fuck my life.
15
GRAY
I pickedup my phone and swiped to answer Nick’s video call.
“What’s up?”
The camera bounced and bobbled as Nick hurried down what looked like a residential street. His blond hair was wind tousled, and he kept moving in and out of the frame.
“Hey.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Can you talk for a few minutes?”
“Yeah, you okay?”
“Fine. Some guy’s been following me for a few blocks. Probably just going the same way as me, but I’m getting sketchy vibes from him.”
“Where are you? Want me to come pick you up?”
“I’m probably just being paranoid.” He looked over his shoulder again. “Shit.”
“What? What’s going on?”
“Not sure. Let me cross the street to see…” He looked both ways and hurried across the street, the camera bobbing frenetically. “Fuck. He crossed the street too.”
“Where are you?”
“Like, five minutes from home.”
“Where’s the nearest commercial street? Is there a store or anything close?”
