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Caleb: okay
Caleb: thanks
Seeing Caleb so broken and vulnerable last night had shaken something loose inside me. Did I care about him? Yeah, I did, and it was getting harder to pretend I didn’t.
I also couldn’t ignore how he’d come to me when he’d needed someone. Out of all the people in his life, he’d texted me. He’d soughtmeout. That had to mean something, right? Was it possible he felt the same unconscious draw toward me that I felt for him?
It also hadn’t escaped me that last night was the first time since I’d been high on painkillers that we’d spent any amount of time just hanging out together. Before, every encounter had started, and ended, with sex.
But somehow, even without any touching outside of his hand on my thigh and our bodies pressed together on the couch, the night still felt intimate. Like we shared something real and meaningful, even though we barely spoke.
Things had shifted between us, and it felt like we were at a crossroads of sorts. Like this was the moment where we had to decide if this thing was just fucking, or if it could be more.
I was so outside my wheelhouse that I had no clue what to do. I’d never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, and most days I had the emotional range of a turnip. I was the last person anyone should ever get involved with, but Caleb…
He knew more about me than most people in my life, and he’d seen me when I was truly at my worst. I’d pretty much been waving red flags at him since he’d taken my ass home from the hospital, and he still hadn’t walked away.
He saw me, truly saw me, and hadn’t tried to change me or let me push him away. He not only called me on my bullshit, he shut it down and helped me discover a part of myself I hadn’t known was there.
I trusted him, I liked him, and I was wildly attracted to him. That might not be enough to build any sort of relationship on, but it was more than I’d felt for anyone else.
Had I been wrong all these years? Maybe I did deserve to have someone care about me. Maybe I really was worthy of being loved.
* * *
Twenty minutes later I pulled the front door open.
Caleb stood on the stoop looking better than last night, but still off. He wasn’t as pale, and his eyes weren’t red, but his damp hair was a mess, like he’d been pulling at it, and his posture was guarded.
“Hey,” he said, his voice a bit gruff.
“Hey.” I stepped aside so he could come in.
He shut the door behind him and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, needing to break the silence.
“Exhausted but wired.” He smiled wryly. “I might not be good company tonight.”
“That’s fine. I’m never good company, so…”
He laughed, some of the light coming back to his eyes. “You’re not so bad when you’re not being a pain in the dick.” He dropped his gaze to my crotch for a few beats. “Why did you really invite me over tonight?”
“I figured we could both use some company.”
He nodded slowly, his dark eyes burning into mine. “And?”
“And because I wanted to.”
He licked his bottom lip. “You did?”
I nodded, my dick already half hard. “Why did you accept?”
“Because I wanted to.”
“So, what do you want to do?” I held his gaze.
“You.”
