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“No. It was perfect.”
He lowered his hand and put it on the bed between us. I loosely threaded my fingers with his. I didn’t know what had made Graham so touchy tonight, but I wasn’t about to waste a moment of it.
“Hey, G?”
“Yeah?” He looked up from our joined hands.
“I know this isn’t any of my business, but are you… have you been…”
“Are you asking if I’ve been with anyone else while we’ve been…doing whatever this is?”
I nodded.
“No.”
“Me either. Have you wanted to?”
He squeezed my hand. “No. I don’t hook up nearly as much as you probably think I do.”
“What do you mean?”
“How often do you think I hook up?”
“Um, not sure. Whenever you want?”
He chuckled. “That’s pretty accurate, actually. But the thing is, I don’t usually want to.”
“You don’t?”
“Sex has never really been that great for me.” He looked back down at our hands. “I don’t know why, but it seems like every time I have it, it’s just…meh. Like it’s not bad, but it’s not much better than jerking, so I don’t bother. And I’m usually in a bad place when I do go looking for it. That’s probably another reason why it’s not great.”
“You said you don’t do relationships or repeats. Do you think that has something to do with it?”
“Could be. Or maybe it’s the types of guys I was going for. I usually picked safe guys and not ones I really wanted. Smaller, submissive, and eager for the main event. Before we started this thing, it had been almost a year since I had sex.”
“Really?”
He nodded.
“I really misjudged you. I assumed you were a fuckboy. One of those use ’em and leave ’em assholes.”
He chuckled. “Nope. I basically download Grindr when the urge hits, set something up, then delete it and wait until the next time. Lather, rinse, repeat.” His smile fell. “I assume you’re the fuckboy, then?”
“I don’t think I am. I hook up, and I’ve had some casual short-term things before. But my schedule is so crazy I don’t have the time or the energy to really go looking for it.”
“You don’t date?”
Now it was my turn to chuckle. “Nope. I’m not against dating, and I’ve gone on dates, but I don’t see the point of committing to someone unless I see a future with them.”
“Guess we both made a lot of assumptions about the other,” he all but whispered.
“Looks like we did.”
“Let’s get some sleep?”
“Yeah. I’m fading fast.” I stifled another yawn.
Graham scooted closer and pressed a soft kiss against my lips.
