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“Sometimes, but not usually. Honestly, you bring out the worst in me. I’m never that aggressive with people or lose control like that.”
“Does it happen to you?”
“Sort of? I kind of blacked out there for a second after I came, but it’s different because I’m in charge. I have to keep my head otherwise I could really hurt you. When I’m gone, I don’t always register things. If you were to say no or tell me to stop, I might not hear it.”
“You’d really stop in the middle of that if I asked?”
I sat up and stared at him. “Obviously. What the fuck?”
He pushed himself up, his eyes guarded and cold again. “What?”
“You wouldn’t stop if someone told you no?”
“Of course I would.”
“So what kind of monster do you think I am? I don’t give a fuck if I’m a stroke away from nutting, if someone says stop, I stop.”
“Forget it.” He moved to stand.
“No.” I grabbed his arm and pulled him down. “What the hell?”
He shook me off. “I didn’t mean it like I thought you’d be like that. I just…”
“What?”
“Nothing.” He stood.
“Graham.”
He scooped up his briefs and yanked them on, his movements jerky and uncoordinated.
“The reason I don’t bottom isn’t because I don’t like it.” He didn’t turn to me, his voice eerily flat as he grabbed his jeans and shook them out. “It’s because the last guy I trusted didn’t listen to me.” He tugged them on. “I wasn’t accusing you of anything. My head is still fuzzy from that drop thing. I never would have said anything otherwise.”
I stared at his back as he pulled on his shirt. He’d been assaulted?
“I gotta go.”
That snapped me out of my daze and I scrambled to my feet.
“G—”
“We’re not doing this.” He finally looked at me. His face was blank, but his eyes were a mess of emotions. “This was fucking, nothing more. We wanted it, we enjoyed it. That’s it. You’re going to forget what I said because we don’t do heart-to-hearts or the good-feels thing. We fuck, we come, end of story.”
I nodded.
“Should I even bother saying this is the last time?” His expression was resigned, almost defeated.
“No.” I sighed. “We both know it won’t be.”
“No, it won’t.” He averted his eyes as I stood.
I pulled on my boxers and jeans as he shoved his feet into his socks and shoes.
“Later,” he mumbled.
“Later.”
He strode out of my room without another look.
