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“Do you want water, beer, or juice?” He opened the fridge.
“Water, thanks.”
He brought two bottles over and sat across from me. Eagerly, I cut into the generous chicken breast, making sure to get a little bit of everything on my fork, and took a bite.
The moan I let out would have made a pornstar proud. I was a decent cook, but this meal was better than anything I’d had in most restaurants.
Graham flushed pink and concentrated on his food.
We ate in silence, mostly because I was too hungry to pause long enough to say anything.
When our plates were empty and the bread was nearly gone, I sat back in my chair and rubbed my full stomach.
“That was amazing. I had no idea you could cook like this.”
Pink stains spread out on his neck and cheeks. “I got into it when Eli was diagnosed. Coming up with recipes is kind of a hobby of mine. Helps me chill out.” He paused, then met my eyes. “Do you want to talk about whatever’s bothering you?”
“Yes, and no.” I sighed. “That’s one of the hardest things about being in healthcare.”
“What is?”
“Knowing how much to tell people. Figuring out where that line is between someone being there for us, and shifting our burdens onto them.”
“That has to be hard.”
“It is.” I leaned my elbows on the smooth island top. “You get used to the shit we see every day. We’re desensitized to it, but some days it’s just…a lot.”
“I know I haven’t exactly sold myself as an empathetic or nice person, but I am.”
“And here I thought you were just an asshole with attitude.”
“That’s only the first layer. Once you get past that I’m usually the one taking care of everyone.”
“Really?”
“Yup. I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m the one who brings snacks when we go out. The one who makes sure everyone gets home safe and who people call when they need someone to vent to or to talk something out. And my friend Nick swears by my big brother hugs.”
“I never would have guessed.”
“Not everyone gets to see the nice side. Count yourself as one of the lucky few.”
I chuckled. “I’m honored.”
“As you should be.” His expression went serious. “I know we have our differences, but you can talk to me if it’ll help.”
“It was just one of those shifts where it didn’t stop.” I picked at the label of my water bottle. I felt better about today after getting some food in my stomach, but Graham didn’t need to know the specifics, and talking about them wouldn’t help, not while the day was still so raw. “One emergency after another, one thing after another. I was fine while I was at work because I could focus on the moment, you know? Pack away all the shit and just do my job. But then I got home and my mind started going and…”
“And you needed to not be alone?”
“Yeah.” I put my bottle back on the counter and scrubbed my hand through my hair.
“Why did you text me?”
“No clue,” I said honestly.
“Do you have anywhere to be?”
I shook my head.
