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“That was a long time ago,” I remind him.
“I know it was, but still.” His fingers continue up and down my back as I yawn and rest my head on his chest. I love laying here listening to his heartbeat. It reminds me of what I have now. Not what I lost back then.
“I’m afraid, too,” I say softly.
“Of what?”
“That Axel and I won’t be enough for you. I’m afraid you’re going to go back to drinking,” I admit to him.
“I’m not. I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I don’t want to be a drunk, Kyla. I was lost after you left. I didn’t know what to do with myself. When you were here, I had focus. I had a map and a game plan, but then you were gone, and so was everything I cared about in this world. It was hard for me to see straight.”
“I’m sorry, Jake.”
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
“And you’re happy about that?”
“I’ve thought about you over the years. I’ve wanted to check up on you, and given that I knew where you were, I could have, but something held me back.”
“What held you back?”
“You wanted a new life. I wasn’t a part of that. So I kept my distance. Some days were harder than others, but I did what I could.”
“You drank,” I say softly.
“A lot. I didn’t see another way out of the situation I was in. I didn’t want to work, to think. I just wanted to be left alone.”
“And did that work for you?”
“No.”
“You know, I thought a lot about you too. I could see you in Axel, and it hurt. I know I wasn’t with you long, but I felt a connection regardless,” I confess.
“I’m glad you’re back, although I don’t like our situation. I’m going to make it right.”
I nod and lay there, listening to his heartbeat beneath my ear. It’s soothing, and I love every second of it.
Our silence speaks volumes, and there’s a feeling of contentment. We don’t have to talk to feel each other. We don’t have to have a conversation to know what the other is feeling. We click. We connect.
“Do you want more kids?” Jake asks me.
“I’ve never thought about it. I just figured it would be Axel and me.”
“You never thought about having more kids?”
“Not really. Do you want more kids?”
“If that’s something you want, I’d be open to it. I’m getting old, though,” he chuckles.
“No, you’re not.”
“Yeah, I am. I can keep up, though.”
“I bet you can,” I laugh. Jake tickles my sides and causes me to laugh harder. I could get used to this. I could get used to having him around like this.
Chapter 17
Mystic
