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My mind was racing, trying to find the right words to say. Did I just come out and say it or wait until we were halfway through our meal? Small talk was probably appropriate. I wanted to gauge where she was at.
The waitress appeared. We ordered our usual pizza and sat in comfortable silence. I couldn’t help but steal glances at her, taking in every detail. The way her eyes sparkled in the dim light of the restaurant and the little strands of hair that fell around her neck. I imagined my lips on the expanse of beautiful, olive skin. I wanted to know what she tasted like.
I looked at my best friend and imagined kissing her. What did she taste like? What would her skin feel like against mine? My thoughts ran wild, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt for having such thoughts about my best friend. But the more I tried to suppress them, the more they consumed me. I knew I had to tell her how I felt, but I was afraid of what her reaction would be.
“Luke?” Emmy said with her brow furrowed.
I blinked, reminding myself I was actually sitting across from her. She would not appreciate knowing I was having a pretty wild fantasy about her in that moment.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, fine.” I nodded. “I was just thinking about work stuff.”
“Something bad?” she asked.
“No.” I shook my head. “Leo and I were just talking about his wedding stuff.”
“Like?”
“Like he’s worried about Caroline,” I said.
“What do you mean?” she asked with concern.
“He’s worried she’s not going to have the wedding of her dreams because she’s trying so hard not to have the first wedding of her dreams.”
“I don’t get it?”
“When she was going to marry her ex, she planned the flowers and colors and all of that,” I explained. “That was supposed to be her dream wedding, but as you know, that ended in disaster. So now, she’s trying to plan her wedding without using any of those elements because she thinks it’s bad juju or something.”
“Oh…” She nodded. “I guess I could see that, but if she never got married the first time, I would think bad juju rules don’t apply.”
“I agree, but Leo is too afraid to tell her that,” I said. “He wants her to have the wedding she wants without pressuring her one way or another.”
“Maybe he could talk to her friends,” Emmy suggested. “I’m sure they can persuade her without pressuring her. I think she should have the wedding she dreamed about since she was a little girl. We all have an idea about what we want, even those of us who say we don’t.”
“Have you thought about your dream wedding?” I asked.
“Absolutely.” She grinned. “I have it all pretty well mapped out. I know the flowers and colors. I know what kind of dress I want. I have a list of songs I want to dance to, but I have to make sure my future husband agrees. I want the song we have at the ceremony to be meaningful to our relationship. It will have to be one of those songs that speaks to us.”
I nodded as she talked. “You’ve really put some thought into this.”
“Duh.” She laughed.
It let me see her in a whole new light. Would she ever see me as the man who was waiting for her at the other end of the aisle? For the first time in my life, I actually thought about a wedding. My wedding. That was unexpected.
ChapterSix
Emmy
Inoticed Luke was acting different. He wasn’t being his usual self. I teased him a little while trying not to notice how my best friend looked good with an unshaven face. I hated that I was attracted to him. We were best friends but lately I’d realized I feel differently. I was attracted to him. I wanted to know what it was like to kiss him.
I watched him talk with my gaze continuously drawn to his lips. I had actually watched him kiss other women. We often went out on double dates. We never hesitated to introduce our boyfriends or girlfriends to one another. He was my best friend and I always liked having his opinion about things, including the men I dated. I trusted his opinion.
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” I asked him. “You seem off.”
“Off?”
