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“I wasn’t done talking to you,” Ivan said.
“In front of the others you are.”
“Fine,” Ivan growled. “We’ll take this inside.”
Rory whirled on him the minute they crossed the threshold into the kitchen at the old homestead. “Look, the way I acted the other morning was reprehensible, but at least I did it in private.” Ivan’s cheeks turned pink as he closed the door behind them, telling Rory he knew exactly what he was talking about. “I was out of line with my towel stunt and…the rest,” he said, unable to repeat the exact words. They’d felt right in the moment, but he’d been ruminating on them ever since. He should just get this off his chest and move on. Ivan scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, not making it any easier. Rory took a few seconds to admire the way his biceps bulged before forcing his gaze to meet Ivan’s. “My behavior was borderline predatory, and I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted, but I’m not sure what that has to do with what happened this morning. I get the sense I said the wrong thing, and I don’t understand.”
“If Cash had picked me up from one of the correctional facilities and brought me to the farm, would you have given me an option to tap out? Reassigned me to easier tasks because you thought I was too soft?” Ivan’s eyes darkened, making it clear he didn’t like Rory questioning him. Unfortunately, that only brought out Rory’s brattier side. “Does my lack of body hair and the effort I put into my appearance make you think I can’t handle manly tasks around the farm? Do you think I’m too soft?”
Ivan stiffened, and his eyes burned with molten intensity. His nostrils flared as he stepped closer to Rory. “You’re making a whole lot of assumptions.”
That wasn’t a no, so Rory kept pushing. He moved closer to Ivan too. “Or maybe you’re just afraid other parts of you will like me as much as your dick does?”
“You think I want you? Is that it?” Ivan growled.
Rory’s heart pounded so hard he could feel it in his throat. “I—” Dizziness washed over him like a tidal wave, and he leaned against the counter for support.
“Rory,” Ivan said, his voice softer but urgent. “Are you okay?”
“I think my blood sugar tanked.” Rory swayed a little and gripped the edge of the counter. “Feeling pretty stupid about my big speech now.”
“Here,” Ivan said, gently gripping Rory’s upper arms. “Let’s sit down at the table. I’ll get you a snack, and we’ll calmly talk this out when you feel better.” Once Rory was sitting down, Ivan released him to rummage through the cabinet. “I think we’re both operating under some false assumptions here. It’s not healthy for either of us to continue like this.”
“My fault,” Rory said wearily. “I came in here like a master seducer and set the wrong tone. I just couldn’t seem to stop myself. You’re so damn yummy. And your dick is just…” Rory sighed. “I’m doing it again.”
Ivan dropped something on the counter, and it sounded like a shotgun blast in the small room. Rory jerked in his seat as if he’d been shot. His head felt really heavy, but Rory still turned to see what Ivan was doing. He held a jar of peanut butter in his hands. “Rory, do you have any food allergies?”
“Nope. Just give me a spoon. I’ll eat the entire jar.”
Ivan’s lips quirked into a brief grin before he turned away to pull a loaf of bread out of a bin on the counter and a banana from the fruit basket. Moments later, Ivan slid a peanut butter and banana sandwich in front of him. “Start there.” He went to the refrigerator and poured a tall glass of orange juice. “Sip on this.” Ivan sat across from him and waited quietly for Rory to eat his snack and drink some of the juice.
“I’m already feeling better,” Rory said when he was halfway through his snack.
“Keep eating please. I think you overdid it today.” Ivan’s voice was gentler and more patient than Rory deserved. Something about his tone made Rory want to nestle against his broad chest instead of provoking another argument. That reaction was far scarier. “I think we need to determine why you felt the need to push yourself.”
Rory set his sandwich down and met Ivan’s concerned gaze. The big guy tapped the table near his food, indicating he should eat some more. Rory obliged by taking two more bites and followed it with a long drink of juice. “I already told you why I was upset. I didn’t want you treating me differently than any recruit.”
“That’s a fair place to start,” Ivan said. “We’ll address the other parts afterward.” Ivan’s gaze never wavered, and it made Rory want to wilt like a flower. Oh, wait. He’d already done that. “It’s not fair to compare yourself to the crew we hire from the correctional facilities because they all have agricultural experiences through numerous programs. That’s where I learned to care for beehives for instance. Both Ty and Owen worked with horses through programs, and Dylan and Kieran started working with dogs at their facilities. Rue learned how to weld and fix machinery and has shifted those skills to blacksmithing, so each of the recruits who show up here already have a head start.”
Rory knew that and felt foolish for his line of questioning.
“And, yes, I would offer them extra breaks or a lighter load to carry if I saw them struggling. This isn’t a hardcore boot camp where I’m trying to turn guys into superbutch cowboys. Now about your other comments,” Ivan said. “If you haven’t figured it out by now, most of us are queer on this ranch. There’s no one way to be queer.” He swallowed hard and ghosted his gaze over Rory for a few moments before making eye contact again. “I don’t think you’re too soft because…you’re smooth all over. Masculinity isn’t defined by body hair.” Ivan tilted his head to the left and right as if stretching his neck. He followed that up with small shoulder rolls. Rory wasn’t sure what this display meant. Was he uncomfortable? Stalling? Finally, Ivan settled in his chair and cleared his throat. “I’d never judge you harshly over your hygiene habits and preferences nor would they sway my opinion about your capabilities. Let’s just leave it at that.”
Rory sagged against his chair as he exhaled a long sigh, doing a fine impression of a deflating balloon. “I made the mistake of checking headlines before work this morning to see if the scandal was dying down. I didn’t read the articles, but a quick skim of headlines revealed that interest is increasing instead of waning.” Rory had briefly thought about reaching out to his dad to plead with him to take a more assertive stance on these attacks. Refusing to comment on personal matters and diverting attention back to pertinent topics wasn’t working. It only made him look guiltier. But Rory had decided his opinions wouldn’t be welcomed and didn’t reach out in the end.
“Don’t do that,” Ivan said.
Rory’s muddled brain struggled to focus. “Do what?”
“Don’t read the articles. Most of it is probably conjecture and rubbish to entice clicks and sell papers.”
Rory sighed. “You’re right. It really got in my head this morning. I’ve sensed that some of the guys are uncomfortable around me, and I guess I wanted to prove I’m not that spoiled punk often represented in the articles. Call me silly, but I want people to like me. I want to like me.” Rory buried his head in his hands. “Damn, I’ve made a real mess of things.”
Ivan scooted his plate closer until it bumped into Rory’s arm. Taking the hint, Rory lowered his hands and finished the sandwich. Ivan’s gaze softened further. “Look, the first thing you need to understand is that every single one of us on this ranch has trust issues. Life taught us to be guarded and cynical before we went to jail, and time in lockup didn’t change that. We’ve built trust and respect among each other, but it takes time to adjust when someone new arrives. I promise no one intended to make you feel unwanted or excluded. Just be yourself and give them a chance to get to know you.” Ivan tilted his head to the side. “I’d say you made quite the impression today. Relax and patiently build on that. And maybe eat more protein and complex carbs, especially at breakfast. I’ll make sure you get a healthy snack from now on until your body adjusts to the new demands you’re putting on it.”
“You’re being way nicer than I deserve,” Rory said. “And I’m sorry I misjudged you.”
