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“Ah, yes, and what an active one you’ve been.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know what? I’m not having this conversation right now. We can have this discussion on Wednesday at our parent counseling meeting… Get home and sober up. I’ll be dropping the girls off at my mom’s, since you’ll still be inebriated by the time I have to leave.” Cami doesn’t know, but I already had my mom on standby for today for this exact reason. Foolish of me to think she would finally do the right thing and be a present parent.
Parent counseling is something I suggested for us to work on our communication and parental responsibilities when it comes to the girls. Co-parenting is not easy, especially when it’s only one parent doing most of the work. There are very few shared responsibilities between Cami and me, and I fear for my upcoming season. I can’t guarantee the girls’ well-being when they’re with her. We’ve been going to the sessions for about a month now, and so far, I feel like it's been a colossal waste of time. Cami puts on a show and acts like the mother of the year during the session, then once we're back home, she’s back to her bullshit again. I have a meeting with a lawyer next week to discuss my parental rights. I’m not taking any chances with my children.
“I’ll be home before the girls get back from your mom's,” she grits out, then hangs up before I can respond.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I run my hands through my hair in frustration. Just in time for Addy’s bellowing cry to pierce the racing thoughts in my brain.
Making a pit stop in my kitchen, I grab a teether and a bottle on my way to their nursery. Opening the door, I find Addy standing in her crib, wailing like a banshee.
“Shh, shhh. It's okay, Daddy’s here,” I whisper as I scoop her into my arms, walking us to the rocking chair on the opposite side of the room.
Bouncing a bit before sitting down, I snuggle her close to me as I hum a lullaby. I place the icy teether in her mouth to help soothe her gums, which seems to help for a bit before she takes it and chucks it across the room. There’s my little hellion. I can't help but smile at her. She’s definitely giving me a run for my money. Crawling all over the place and pulling up on everything, while her sister Sophie likes to sit and observe the anarchy.
She continues to fuss in my arms. No amount of rocking is going to calm her down at this point. So, I take out my phone and put on some music. Something Addy generally settles to.
I’m about four songs in with no sign of quieting her down when I shoot a desperate text.
Me
I hope you’re awake because I'm drowning here.
Queenie
What’s going on?
Me
Addy is teething and won’t settle for shit. What’s the song you said she loved?
Queenie
Play her some Jolene, she loves that one.
Me
Only you would get my daughter hooked on Country.
Queenie
My girl the Country star… You know you love it!
Quickly switching my playlist to Country classics, I find the Dolly Parton hit and press play. Within moments, Addy’s wails have calmed, and she nestles into my chest.
Me
You’re a fucking lifesaver. Thank you!
Queenie
You got it hotshot. Always here for you.
Her words strike me, because although they’re true, and Quinn has been there for me, it’s not the same. At least not how I want her to be. I need her… I crave her now more than ever. But she's trying, and that’s all I can ask for. I get it, it must be hard. I don’t know what I would do if the roles were reversed, but I'm a selfish fucker and want my Queenie back. Like how we used to be.
Me
