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Our weekly FaceTime calls did nothing to prepare me for watching him be a dad.And a damn good one at that.
I feel naturally drawn to the twins, just as I always have been to their dad. The guilt of walking away from him has been eating away at me slowly. Being an eyewitness to how amazing of a father he is and how hard he works to give them every bit of love, affection, and comfort they need only makes it harder. Then, of course, there is the awkwardness between us. Something that has never been there until this last year.
We are in limbo somewhere between friends, lovers, maybe even strangers.
Staring out at the beautiful Florida sunset, I remind myself of one of the main reasons I agreed to come on this trip—I want to repair our friendship.
Which is also why I accepted his invite for tomorrow to a beach barbecue with some of his teammates. They are playing volleyball, so he knew I would enjoy that. It will be the first time we have done anything like that together in what feels like ages.
His invite gave me a little spark of hope that we haven’t completely ruined our friendship beyond repair. It also elicited a million butterflies to take flight in my belly at the thought of one-on-one time with him.
Lavender painted toes appear in the sand beside me.
“Sweetie, you okay?” my mom asks.
“Yeah, just enjoying the sunset.”
“Don’t do that with me, Quinn.” She plops down next to me.
“Do what?” I murmur, mindlessly pushing the sand around beneath my feet.
“Act tough and invincible. I know when you are hurting, and I’ve let this go on for far too long. I know you hate showing your weaknesses even to me, but, honey, you need to talk about all this.Pleasetalk to me.”
The concern in her eyes, and the pleading in her voice, has my resolve slowly slipping away. I look back at the waves rolling in, taking the sand and shells back with it.
I never realized my mom knew anything about Eli and me, but it turns out we weren’t so stealthy after all.
“How did you know?” I whisper.
“About you and Eli?”
I nod my silent response.
“Honey, it’s been pretty obvious to all of us for a very long time.” She pauses, looking out to the ocean for a second before she turns her body to face me.
“Cindy and I knew neither of you realized the depth of the feelings you had for one another back then. But we agreed to never meddle. There was no doubt in our minds that one day, you both would fully understand the incomparable bond that was fused between you two.”
We did, but it was too late.
“You don’t think I was aware of all the times you two would sneak off… or visit one another without telling us? Like that one year, it just so happened to be Eli’s birthday, and you supposedly went to meet your new teammates. But you used your debit card at the gas station right by Penn State.”
I smirk and bury my face in my hands at my stupid teenage lie.Not very well thought out there, Q.
“I knew there was only one reason you would hide going to visit him and that was if things had developed into more than just friendship.”
Thinking back on those days, everything was so exciting. We were best friends with impulsive desires. It was complicated and messy, but it worked. The minute we tried changing… is when shit hit the fan.
“I can’t believe you knew all this time,” I reply, shaking my head in disbelief.
“If it wasn’t obvious back then, it became pretty apparent when Eli came to your dad and I, telling us he rented a house in the Hamptons and had paid to have your grad party catered by one of the most reputable companies on the east end.”
Wait what?
My brows furrow in confusion. “That party wasn’t your and dad’s doing?”
“No honey. He didn’t want to get any of the credit, so he made us promise not to tell you. But it wasn’t lost on us that he didn’t do the same thing for either of his sisters. I know he helped them both financially when they first graduated, but never the same thoughtfulness of a party with one of your favorite meals. He even specifically got a house with a beach volleyball area attached just for you.”
Tears fill my eyes.
