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And how, even after all that, I still couldn’t get him out of my head.
I had to do something. I couldn’t just sit there. And the first thing I knew I had to do was admit defeat. There was no way I was going to make it out here. I’d taken too many wrong turns and now there was no way back.
I began looking up flights and told my landlord I was canceling my apartment. There was no point in continuing to pay rent in a place I could barely afford. And more to the point, I’d just pissed off the billionaire philanthropist who it seemed, the entire city looked up to. I felt sure I wouldn’t be able to get a job.
But none of it worked. Despite my desperate, panicked planning, I was still a hysterical wreck by the time I finally gave in and did the thing I should have done all along.
I picked up the phone and called my mom.
It was already mid-afternoon in California, and when I called her, my mother was on her way out of the house.
“Hi sweetie!” she said, and her cheerful tone and kind voice damn near broke my heart.
“Hi Mom,” I sniffled, trying not to sound like I’d been crying as much as I had.
“Lena, sweetheart. What’s wrong?” she said.
“Oh, it’s nothing, I guess that … well, I guess that things aren’t going so well out here.”
“But honey, I thought things were going great. How’s your new job going?”
“Uh, not so well, Mom,” I said. “The guy’s not very nice, and …”
“And what?”
I thought about telling her for a moment, about letting the secret off my chest. That I’d been working for Jared Alson’s brother.
But I decided against it.
“And I made a couple of mistakes.”
I heard my mother sigh, and then she said one of the sagest pieces of advice I’ve ever heard.
“You know what, hon? I’ll bet you that pretty much everyone you’ll meet in life has made a few mistakes. But you know what separates you from them?”
“No, I don’t.”
“They didn’t give up when the going was tough. Do you remember when you first started? You told me modeling wouldn’t last more than a few years. And look at you now, huh?”
“I guess.” My career had been going strong for almost ten years. Was I going to give up now just because of a rough patch?
“I don’t know what’s going on at this job, or who this fella is. But I promise you. He might seem like the big baddie right now, but inside, I bet he’s got a heart of gold. All it takes sometimes is a few kind words to bring that out of a man.”
I sighed, and shook my head, smiling through my tears. I wasn’t sure any amount of kind words would make Alex Alson a more bearable man to be around.
“So, take my advice. You go in there and you apologize for whatever you did wrong. And see what comes of it. If nothing comes? You’ll thank me later. Better to have a clear conscience, in any case.”
“You’re the best,” I said.
“All right, honey. Give me a call later and let me know how things are going. And remember, we love you and miss you!”
“I miss you too, mom.” It was the simplest thing, but I meant it. It was so strange being out here, away from all of my family, living a double life in a city to which I was a stranger.
I said goodbye to my mom. Her advice had cleared my head. I knew what I was going to do. I was going to write to Alex—to apologize, to explain what had happened. And then I was going to send out all those pictures again, to all the places I could think of.
And, as I sat at the door, feeling a tinge of hope amongst all the sadness and frustration, I heard my doorbell ring.
I sat up. Who would be calling me at this time? I didn’t have many friends in Hawaii, aside from Krista, and I was pretty sure she was at work right now. So what was going on?
