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“That’s okay with me, but I don’t want you having regrets.”
“Can I tell you something?” she asks.
“Of course.”
“Sometimes…” she trails off, and I give her a minute, letting her tell me in her own time. “Sometimes, when we’re together, I can feel Ben…”
“What do you mean?” I ask her, confused.
“I don’t know; it sounds crazy to even say out loud.”
“Nothing you say is crazy.”
“It’s like I can feel him pushing me towards you.”
“You can?”
“Yeah, sort of.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“I think so. At times, I can feel him more than others, more than I have in the year he’s been gone. But it’s always like he’s giving me a feeling of reassurance when you’re around.”
Hearing her tell me this is hard to comprehend. I haven’t lost someone so close. I’m not sure how to respond or how to process it. But what I do know is that Ben was her life. I can see the way her eyes light up when she remembers him, so if I can bring a sliver of that back to her, then it really isn’t such a bad thing.
“Maybe Ben brought us together,” I tell her.
“You think?”
“Possibly, if you think about it. The boys have been in school together now for two years, and we’ve never run into each other until this year.”
“I guess you could be right.”
“Well, yeah, I always am,” I joke with her and she giggles.
“So it doesn’t creep you out, what I told you?”
“No way. I admire your strength and the way you say what you feel. Nothing you could do or say would creep me out. It’s not like you snuck into my house the way my ex did tonight to try and see Jack.”
“What the hell? She was in your house?”
“Yup, she said she’d been here all day too.”
“Oh God, Thane, what did Jack say?”
“He was sleeping, so he didn’t see her.”
“Wow, that is straight crazy.”
“Right? She needs the straitjacket.” I sip my beer and get lost in our conversation. Talking with Faye is easy. I’m hopeful that this is just the start of us moving past that barrier that was holding us back. When she was ready, I wasn’t, and when I was, she wasn’t.
