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“Yes, Jade, it’s been freaking hard!” He yells, his face turning red. He yanks the needle out of his thigh and gets to his feet. “My leg has been messed up ever since the injury last year. No amount of rehab could take away the pain.”
“How long?”
I try to look back and see the signs that I might have missed.
“I’ve been taking painkillers ever since I rejoined the team. The…” There’s a beat of silence. “The other thing, just a few weeks. Ever since I was reinjured in that game.”
I shake my head, not believing what I’m hearing. Months. He’s been in pain for months, and he hasn’t said a word.
And I haven’t seen it.
I’ve been so stuck in my own bullshit that I haven’t seen it all happening right in front of my eyes.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Say something?” he scoffs like the mere idea is laughable. “What was I supposed to say? Hey Coach, I know you guys depend on me, but my leg is killing me every time you push me too hard? He would have kicked me off the team instantly.”
“To me! Why didn’t you say something to me?”
“To have you judge me like you are now?” He shakes his head. “I think I’ll pass. Besides, we were just hooking up.”
“I’m not judging you. I’m worried. What if somebody finds out? It’ll ruin your whole career.”
It’ll ruin this whole team. Because there is no way that if something like this came out, that the Ravens would come out of it unscathed. Every single player would be looked at with distrust.
“Of course, you’re judging me. Hell, I’m judging myself. Do you really think I want to do it? Do you think it’s easy for me? But it’s been the only way. Steroids were my safest option to get back to the game. To be able to play. You, better than anybody, should understand why I need to do this. Why Ineedto play.”
I let out a shaky breath. “You can’t be serious right now.”
“I’m serious. I have to play. I have to win. That’s the only way I can keep my promise to Gabriel.”
“And you think Gabriel would care more about your promise than about your health?” my voice rises as the exasperation sets in. I can’t believe this is happening that we’re even having this discussion.
“Well, he isn’t here to tell us, is he?!”
I stare at him, our labored breathing the only sound filling the room. “He wouldn’t want you to do this, Prescott,” I whisper, taking a step forward and trying to reach for him. “He would want you to be happy and healthy. If you keep doing this, you might mess your leg up for good and—”
He shoves my hand away and pulls back, anger flashing on his face.
His rejection is like a slap to my face.
“I don’t fucking care, Jade.” His fingers slide through his hair, fisting the short strands and pulling at them. “How don’t you see it? I have nothing else left. Nothing else but my promise to my brother.”
Tears start burning my eyelids, so I close my eyes, trying to push them back.
Just a hookup.
Nothing else left.
“Fine. Destroy yourself. Who am I to say anything, right?”
Prescott’s eyes widen as my words set in. “Jade…”
With a shake of my head, I turn on the balls of my feet and get the hell out while I can still keep my cool.
Prescott calls after me, but I don’t bother turning around.
The icy breeze hits me the moment I open the door. I gulp in the air, my eyes turning blurry from the cold.
