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I give him a side glance. “Did you read some motivational bullshit, Nix?”
Nixon glares at me. “I just want what’s best for you.”
“I know.”
And I do. That’s the only thing my friends have ever wanted for me.
The silence stretches between us as we just stare out the windshield.
“I’ll go out,” I clear my throat. “In a little bit.”
Nixon shrugs. “I don’t have anywhere better to be.”
It’s bullshit, and we both know it. He has a wife waiting for him at home. He has a future he has to prepare for—a sick sister.
I shake my head, not allowing myself to go down that road.
“I have a brother.” The words are out before I can second-guess them. “Ihada brother. He died when we were thirteen.” My throat bobs as I swallow, my palms turning sweaty. “Leukemia.”
“Shit, Prescott, why didn’t you say something?”
“I didn’t want you to know. Nobody knows,” I whisper, my eyes still glued to the church. “Well, except Jade. Talking about Gabriel, about what we’d gone through, has never come easy. The first time he got sick, we were nine. He beat it, but on his three-year check-up, we found out the cancer was back, and it had metastasized. There was nothing they could have done for him. Back home, it was the only thing people talked about. I was the guy whose brother had cancer. The guy whose brother died. I didn’t want to be that guy here too, so I kept quiet.”
“That’s why Jade…” He shakes his head. “I guess some things now make more sense.”
“It’s not an excuse by any means. It’s just… What happened to Gabriel shaped me. We had so many plans, and when he died… I couldn’t let it all disappear. He died, but I could still make those things happen. For him.”
“So…”
“The football. Gabriel loved football. He lived for it. And he was good. So damn good. It was always his dream to play pro, and I’m sure he’d have succeeded if only he had more time. He wanted us to play together, win it all.”
“That’s why you worked so hard after the injury?”
I nod my head. “Going pro was never my thing. Since the moment he got sick, I knew I wanted to help kids like him one day, but I could help the Ravens go all the way. That was my promise to him. And I broke it.”
“You didn’t break anything. You worked your ass off, but it wasn’t enough. That’s plain football for you. Sometimes no matter how much you work, luck’s just not on your side.”
“Rationally, I know that, but…”
“There are no buts, Prescott. It’s just the way it is. Besides, would he want that, though? I’m not saying to forget him, but would he really want you to live your life for him?”
“If he knew what happened, he would have kicked my ass,” I let out a soft chuckle. “I think I’m ready to go inside now.”
“Do you want me to go in with you?”
Like I’m a fucking baby? Yeah, right.
“I’m sure you have better things to do. Yasmin is probably waiting for you and Jade…”
Just saying her name has a pang of guilt stabbing me in the chest. God, I missed her. I missed her so damn much, and I hated myself for putting us in this position in the first place.
“You’re my best friend, Prescott. Besides, Yasmin and Jade are fine on their own for a little while. They’re probably throwing a party right about now to celebrate that I left them in peace for longer than five minutes.”
My throat bobs as I swallow. “How’s she doing?” I finally ask the question that I’ve been dying to ask since I saw him.
“She’s doing better. Going to therapy and chemo. She’s still in pain, not that she’s showing it. Stubborn woman. I seriously don’t know how I ended up surrounded by them.”
I chuckle because I can see Jade giving Nixon shit for fussing over her.
