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She wasn’t sure why that brought tears to her eyes, but it did. He was being so sweetly considerate. Staying beside her, holding her hand, racing to be with her, and now, wanting to make sure that her mother was represented as much as his in the name of their child.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring your mother up. I didn’t realize—”
She shook her head. “No. It’s fine. It’s not about my mom, it’s... I’m just not used to anyone being this nice to me. Thank you.”
He closed his mouth. His lips flattened out into a straight line like her words didn’t make him happy, but she couldn’t help it. That was the truth. She wasn’t quite sure why being treated well made her want to cry, but it did. But it was crying in a good way, the kind of crying that came from happy emotions.
“Can I get you anything?” Davis asked.
“Just you being here is more than enough. Thank you,” she said, squeezing his hand and closing her eyes, tired, but not wanting to miss the first opportunity to go see her baby.
“Did you see her?” she asked without opening her eyes.
“No. They haven’t let me see anything. I was desperate to get to you, but I guess because your C-section was unexpected, they had put you out completely, and they made me cool my heels in the waiting room.”
“Maybe they’ll let us go together.” She would insist on it. Surely the hospital wouldn’t keep a father from seeing his daughter, any more than they would keep the mother from seeing her, as soon as she was able to be seen.
They sat there in silence for a little bit, Davis seeming to understand that she was exhausted, and not wearing her out with small talk. It was enough that he was holding her hand.
“Are you ready to see your little girl?” a cheerful voice said.
Kim opened her eyes to see a smiling, matronly-looking nurse walk into her room.
“Yes!” she said, and while her voice wasn’t loud, there was definitely a whole pile of excitement in it.
“Take it easy. You don’t want to make any sudden movements and pull at your staples. That’s going to hurt once all of the pain meds have worn off.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Kim murmured, remembering that the doctor had said something to that effect. That she needed to be careful what she did. That she should expect pain. That he had to cut a lot of muscles, and it would take a while to heal.
“All right, I just want to check your vitals, and we’re looking for a wheelchair for you. The NICU has told us that you can go down to see her for a few minutes. They don’t quite have her settled like they want, but they knew you were eager.”
“That’s great.”
Davis squeezed her hand, which prompted her to say, “Can Davis go?”
“I’m sure he can. Neither one of you can stay very long, but I’m sure both of you are just dying for a little glimpse of her. She’s real tiny, and you won’t be able to hold her. I don’t want to get your hopes up about that. They might let you touch her hand. Depending on how she’s doing.”
“All right,” Kim said, steeling herself. She figured she wouldn’t be able to hold her. That wasn’t an issue. But...to not be able to touch her at all? It felt like touch was a way of communication, especially with babies who couldn’t talk. But she understood that developmentally she might not be ready for skin contact. It might hurt her instead of feeling good.
She’d have to trust the doctor.
She must have drifted off, because the next thing she knew, Davis still had a hold of her hand but also gripped her shoulder gently. “Are you ready to go?”
Her eyes popped open. She couldn’t believe she’d fallen back asleep with the idea of going to see her daughter so close.
“Yes.” She started to struggle to get up, felt a twinge of pain, and lay back.
“Hold on. I think the bed sits up.”
“It does. And you’re going to want to take it easy. If you can keep the pain levels down, it’ll be much better for you. Especially if you’re going to be spending a good bit of time in the NICU once they get things settled.”
“I’d like to spend as much time with her as I can.” That was her sincere wish, but then her face clouded over as a thought occurred to her. Somehow, she was going to need to support herself. She couldn’t start a new business and still be in the NICU sitting with her baby.
And she remembered the doctor saying something about Kathleen needing to stay in the hospital until a lot closer to her due date. That was three months away. How was she going to start a riding stable, doing everything that needed to be done, and still find time for her child?
It was going to be hard doing it while pregnant and with a newborn. But with the baby in a hospital in the NICU? It felt impossible.
She took a breath. She didn’t have to solve that problem today. Or tomorrow. She had time.
