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“I know. I... I can’t get over it. Can’t get over that they’re able to keep her alive.”
Kathleen had some kind of thing over her nose and mouth, probably to help her breathe, and they couldn’t really see her face, but her little eyes blinked once, then stayed shut.
“All right, you guys will be able to visit and stay a lot longer eventually, but for right now, we still have some work to do.”
And with that, they were shooed away.
Kim didn’t even make it to the door of the NICU before she was unable to hold the tears back anymore and they ran down her face. She put a finger in her mouth and bit down on it, trying to keep her sobs from erupting from her throat.
She wasn’t even sure who was pushing her, didn’t care, didn’t pay attention to where they were going or what they were doing. Mindlessly, she took the gown they had given her off and put it in the hamper when someone told her to, swiping at her cheeks before she did so.
“I know that looks scary, but they need all those wires and tubes to make sure she gets the very best start she can. They know what they’re doing, they do this every day.” The nurse tried to reassure her, and she wanted to let the nurse know that she didn’t need to. Kim already knew all that, it was just... Maybe the trauma of seeing her little one, knowing that she was the mom, and having all the instincts inside of her to take care of her, but being unable to.
That, and fear.
Fear like she’d never felt before, fear of what was going to happen to her baby. Fear of what was going to happen to her. She could hardly stand the absolute terror, sharp and hungry, that seemed to grow in her chest, and she cried harder.
Chapter 19
Davis wasn’t sure whatto do. Helping someone who cried wasn’t exactly in his skill set. But it was Kim. And he wanted to do whatever it took to ease her pain, her fear, whatever it was.
The nurse gave him a look, and he hoped the glance he gave her in return conveyed to her that he was confident, even though he wasn’t.
He wanted to ask her what he should do, but the pager at her hip buzzed, and she grabbed it, lifting it up and looking at it.
“Oh no.” She swallowed. “Someone is having a baby in the parking lot.” She looked at Davis, obviously wanting to take off running but knowing where her responsibility lay. “Can you get her back to her room?”
“Sure. Go on.”
He couldn’t believe what he was saying. He wanted to beg her to stay, to fix whatever the problem was, to do something so that Kim wasn’t crying anymore. But he’d barely gotten the words out of his mouth before she had taken off, and he was left alone with the woman he loved, crying uncontrollably.
Maybe it was God, it had to be, since at that very moment he looked up, as though he was going to find some kind of help along the ceiling of the hallway, and his eyes landed on the word “chapel.”
All right. If God was going to provide a chapel, he would use it.
He took the wheelchair, turning it toward where the arrow pointed and then opening the door that was clearly labeled as a “chapel.” It even had stained glass windows.
