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I absolutely refuse to let her go, ever! She is perfection personified. I hold her as she sleeps. I know I should be cleaning up from our early morning delight, but I am loathe to let her go. I sent a text to Prince to prepare us a meal and leave it outside of the bedroom door. One other major requirement when I was looking for a chef was someone who knew and understood the lifestyle. I was lucky to find Prince, he came highly recommended, and if his previous employer hadn’t gotten a divorce, he would still be with him. Their misfortune is my fortune. The tap on the door alerts me to Prince leaving our meal. It has been hours since she passed out, so she needs to wake up and eat. We also need to go over if she wants to enter into a contract with me and, if so, the terms of that contract.
“Wake up, Angel, you need to eat,” I shake her gently until she opens her beautiful eyes still full of sleep.
“I am tired.”
“Angel, you have to eat, and after we talk, you can sleep the rest of the day if you like.”
“Okay,” she says, and I think it is more the scents coming from the tray than my words. She sits propped up against the headboard as I place a tray across her lap and sit across from her and feed her the food off of the tray until she shakes her head, letting me know she is full. I get up to place the tray outside the door, grab the contract off the table and bring it back to the bed, handing her the papers. She has tracked me around the room with her eyes like a predator watching its prey. She finally looks down at the papers in her hand and begins reading them. I climb in behind her, letting her sit in between my legs, and we read the contract together.
Is a contract negotiation supposed to be fun? It never was before, but with Trinitee, it was hilarious. The way we laughed, talked, negotiated, and, most of all, connected until we reached an amicable agreement is something I will never forget. The contract went over the topics she and I both felt were important; that’s why it is important to have trust and communication in these types of relationships. The Dom and Sub have to be able to talk about what they want and don’t want, and both of them have to be open to adding and removing things from the contract to come to a good agreement. Our contract covered things like:
The term – How long will the arrangement last? We decided on three months, our responsibilities to each other, and her veto power to refuse my command in certain circumstances. The ability to end the dynamic by either of us, her soft and hard limits, discipline, punishment, privacy and confidentiality, areas of control, for instance, I do not interfere with her job or friendships, for now, our contract centers around the bedroom.
We also discussed understanding exclusivity in the bedroom and in a relationship. We could have a Dom/Sub contract and not be in a relationship, and vice versa. Either of us could be in a relationship and not have a Dom/Sub sex life with that person. But with my Angel, I want both of them exclusively. Finally, we went over safe words and the ability to alter the terms. Once we got through that conversation, I wanted to confess to her about seeing her at the club.
“I saw you at Club Desire the first time I went , and I became a bonafide stalker. I was so scared you were going to find someone else to be with.”
“I thought I saw you! I knew I wasn’t going crazy! I was so wrapped up in trying to find you again, he got frustrated with me and moved on to someone else.”
“Good,” I tell her meaning it. “You were always meant to be mine, Trinitee.”
“And you were meant to be mine.”
“And I am okay with that,” I tell her.
“So I am not sure who you got to do this room, but I love it. You do know I am well-versed in sex rooms, right?”
“I mean, it’s not like it’s in your portfolio, and I don’t know about you, but I do not go asking random designers if they know how to create a sex room.”
“Okay, okay, point taken. And by the way, you fired me!”
“I know, Angel, but I did not want to mix business with pleasure. I mean, I still paid you.”
“Yeah, and I appreciate that, but I wanted to finish what I started.”
“I mean, you can if you want to do it as a favor to your man.”
“My man?”
“Hell yeah, your man.” She tilts her head up and back to look at me, fighting to hold back a smile.
“I guess I could do it for my man.”
“Thank you, baby.”
We stay in our little bubble until we are forced to face the real world again, and I do not want to let her go. I have never felt this content and fulfilled in my life, and I attribute it all to Trinitee. And I know my father having his stroke is a horrible event, but had he never had such a serious health scare, I would have never come back home, and I would have never met my Trinitee. I guess that is what they mean by a blessing in disguise.
Nine
Trinitee
I look the mirror again to quadruple-check that everything is perfect and to ensure I look as good as possible. The past few weeks since Kruze and I have been together have been like heaven, and the smile has been permanently etched on my face. He is as close to perfect for me as a man can get. I have never been so taken care of before in my life, and we are not even going to talk about what happens when it’s time for sex. I had to go buy clothes because of the weight I lost from our extracurricular activities, to which Kruze told me, “Don’t lose another pound. I am going to have Prince make you some extra meals. I like you just the way you are.” Ugh, that man. I am losing the battle fast. If this doesn’t last, I am going to be devastated, but just like any good drug, you see the damage it’s doing or the damage it’s going to do, and you still crave it.
The way I feel about this man will have me packing up and moving my ass to the other side of the world to cry, eat, lick my wounds, go to therapy, and rehab. But until then, I am going to ride this ride until the wheels fall off.
“Angel, are you ready?” I hear coming from my living room. We exchanged keys a few days ago when we realized we could barely sleep without being next to each other, but his hours have been getting longer, and I am still working on his parent's house.
“Here I come,” I say, looking in the mirror one final time before I go to meet him in the living room.
