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“Have the shrimp, Shannon. Damn, I’ll go buy some shrimp and cook my own. It’s not that damn serious,” I say, handing her the plate.
“You? You know how to cook?”
“Why is that so surprising?”
“I am always surprised when a primate can do advanced activities.”
“And I am always surprised when you pull up in your car instead of on your broom.”
“I know the fuck you didn’t just call me a witch!”
“So, you can call me an ape, but I can’t call you a witch? Ever since I met your ass, you have been a pain in my ass, and I have no idea why. I don’t know you, I haven’t done shit to you, but yet you still find every reason under the goddamn sun to have some shit to say to me. How about this, you take your ass to wherever Trinitee is and be her maid of honor and leave me the fuck alone. I can see why your miserable ass is single.”
“I know the fuck you didn’t! I am single because I want to be. If I want a man, I can have one whenever I want,” she says, and I grunt. Luckily no one is over by the food table, so we have not gotten anyone else’s attention with our heated argument.
“Right,” I tell her, preparing to walk away.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” she asks. “Are you trying to imply I can’t get and keep a man?”
“Your ass is a complete brat,” I tell her snatching the plate from her hand and dropping it on the table. “The reason your mean ass is single is because the slack-backed jelly-fished men you deal with are too weak to tame your ass,” I tell her, steadily backing her up in a corner with my body. “You like running that mouth and using that sharp tongue to cut a man’s ego up, but I can think of several other uses for that mouth and sharp tongue, and none of them involves you talking. Like choking on a ball gag as I fuck you hard from behind or choking on my dick as I fuck your throat,” I say as her back hits the wall, and I grab her throat and lean down to kiss her. I take my time kissing her mouth, sucking on her tongue and full bottom lip before releasing her. She stands there, eyes wide, staring up at me, speechless. “Look at that. You do know how to shut the fuck up,” I tell her walking off and leaving her looking pissed off. Well, my work here is done.
