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I shook my head in agreement, and watched her expression change to sadness as she thought the worst. "I fucking love you, woman." I didn't care if it was too soon to say the words. After the way I'd treated her, she needed to know the truth.
Her eyes lit up, giving me hope. "You love me? But..."
I released a heavy sigh and took her by the hand. "We need to talk, babe." Once we reached my bed, I pulled her down onto it to sit on the edge next to me. "I'm not going to touch you."
Humor filled her eyes. "I think you just did."
I smirked. "Let me clarify. What I mean to say is that I'm not going to fuck you." The disappointment on her face quelled any concerns I'd had that Harlow did not feel the same way that I did. "Not until your divorce papers are final. Then I'm going to fuck you all night long, and give you so many fucking orgasms that you pass out with exhaustion and can't walk the next morning."
Her face was bright red by the time I was done speaking, her breathing slightly accelerated. "I'm confused, Liam. You're so different from the doctor I worked with in the clinic. He was so businesslike and serious all the time. Almost standoffish. But that time when you kissed me, I got the sense that that was the real you. When I saw that side of you, the uncontrolled passion of a man taking what he wanted, well . . . " She looked down, as if she were afraid to meet my eyes. "I felt like you really cared. That was when I began to fall in love with you."
Holy fuck, she loved me!When she continued to stare at her lap, I put a finger beneath her chin and forced her to look at me. "Harlow. You don't know how fucking happy that makes me." I pulled her onto my lap until she was straddling me. I couldn't stop my grin from forming as her skirt lifted higher to expose her thighs to me. My hands instinctively gripped them to pull her tighter against me. When her pussy bumped against my dick, a groan rumbled up my throat.
“Are we going to talk now?”
“Among other things,” I responded, grinning. “Harlow, when I worked with you in the office it was in a professional capacity, and I acted accordingly. When I realized I was attracted to you, it became a fucking nightmare working so closely with you. I had to constantly remind myself that you were a married woman. But when I kissed you, it was then that I knew I had to get away from you. I came so close to fucking you up against that wall. It fucking scared me.”
“So, you gave up your practice because of me?” Her hand cupped the side of my jaw, a regretful look in her eyes. “Oh, Liam...”
I shook my head. “No, baby, I chose to give up the clinic. I thought that if you were out of sight, you’d be out of mind." A snort escaped me. "Then you started showing up here with some of the old ladies."
"That was your fault," Harlow surprised me by saying. "If you hadn't called me to help with Brody when he got shot, I wouldn't have met Lulu."
"Yeah, big fucking mistake. It only reinforced my feelings for you and made me angry all over again that I couldn't have you. So when you started coming around, I did my best to make you hate me by throwing club women in your face."
"You were punishing me for being married?"
"No! I was praying that you'd get tired of my treatment of you and would stay away. It was about self-preservation, babe.” I paused, giving her time to process what I was telling her. “The day I lost control—that kiss—that was the man I am ninety-nine percent of the time. As a member of the Desert Rebels, you don't get to stay alive by being timid and polite. You've seen what kind of men we are. We're rough, tough; we say it how it is, and we like to fight. But most of all, we like the freedom of living our lives the way we want. I've had to do bad things to stay in the club. Things I would do all over again if I had to, because the Desert Rebels are my family. That’s the man you’ll get.”"
She glanced over her shoulder at my unmade bed, biting down on her bottom lip.
"Look, I'm not a monk. But it wasn't like what I led you to believe it was."
"So how many orgasms did you give Mitzi last night?"
"Not one. She was with Snake all night." I knew that I’d been an ass, and decided to admit it to her. "Mitzi was simply following through on something I'd told her to do whenever you were around."
I watched Harlow's expression change, and I knew the second she understood what I was saying. I wasn’t proud of what I’d done, but I’d justified my actions by telling myself that I’d had no choice. Now, fuck, I was so glad it was over, and Harlow and I could move on from here.
“I can’t believe how far you were willing to go to scare me away.”
“Babe, I was willing to make you hate me.” I searched her eyes, trying to read what she was thinking.
“And now?”
“And now we go from here and see where that takes us.”
