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“I’ll be doing a lot better once I get some of this into me,” I replied, unscrewing the cap. Randy placed a shot glass down in front of me, but I shook my head.
“I won’t be needing that,” I said, raising the bottle to my lips and taking a swig as I walked off.
I wasn’t in the mood for company, so I climbed the fire escape leading to the roof and settled into a picnic chair I’d grown over familiar with in the last few weeks. I liked it up here, alone and under the stars. It was a good place to think. Under the expanse of a night sky littered with a billion stars, it was easy to rein in the self-loathing and guilt and let my mind roam free.
Tonight I was tired from the guilt and the shame of my past. I was tired of feeling hurt and let down by those I loved. And I was tired from fighting an attraction to a girl who was asleep in my bed in a very appealing state of near nakedness.
On nights like tonight, where my past nipped at my heels, the memory of my father’s wickedness was heavy in my heart. It was hard to shake. People didn’t know the half of what I had endured at the hands of him. When I left for the Navy, I was able to bury it, thanks to relentless training. But since my accident, my memories haunted me. Nighttime was the worst. And tonight was no different.
I took a swig from the bottle and stared up at the stars as another torturous memory from my childhood invaded my thoughts. My eyes closed and not having the energy to fight it, I let it sweep me away.
He led me down the long corridor toward one of the many bedrooms in the clubhouse.
“It’s time you make yourself a man, boy.”
I looked at the sad girl on the bed then back at my father. Swallowing hard, my voice was thick as I asked, “What do you mean?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he just shoved me through the doorway and into the room.
My guts twisted with dread. When he’d dragged me out of bed and brought me to the clubhouse, I had no idea what he was up to. His motivations became apparent the moment I saw the girl.
“Time you get a taste of pussy instead of hiding away in that room of yours, playing guitar and jerking off.”
The girl on the bed drew in a deep breath, and I struggled to swallow. She was young, but a club girl nonetheless. She was broken in, probably by my father and other high-ranking members of the club. Dressed in nothing but a satin slip, she smiled up at me seductively.
“I’m not doing this,” I said, turning away.
My father grabbed me by my shirt.
“You’ll do what I goddamn tell you to do,” he growled, shoving me closer to the bed.
The girl shifted uncomfortably. She was afraid of my father.
“Please, Dad,” I pleaded.
I didn’t want to do this.
And I doubted she wanted to either.
But my father wasn’t having any of it.
He pulled out his gun and put it to my temple. “Go over there and fuck her.”
Fear gnawed at my insides. He had never pulled a gun on me before.
I wanted to run. But you didn’t run from Garrett Calley. It was so much worse if you did.
“It’s okay,” the girl said. She reached for me and gently guided me away from my father—and the gun pointed at my head. She nodded nervously at him, her eyes wide, her beautiful mouth turned up in a shaky smile. “It’s not a problem, Prez. Chance wants to stay with me. Don’t you, baby?”
I nodded and my father put his gun away.
“I’ll just be on the other side of that door,” he said, sauntering toward the doorway. “You kids play real nice now.”
I watched him walk out and close the door behind him. I felt sick. Nervous.
The girl turned my face to look at her and began to undress me. As she lifted my shirt over my head, she whispered, “Don’t fret. It will be over before you know it.”
My heart pounded as she lay back amongst the pillows and parted her legs, slowly drawing me down to her warm body. Wrapping her legs around my hips, she started kissing me, her soft hands roaming up and down my back, her body moving suggestively beneath me. Desire filled my belly. And despite not wanting it to, my cock started to harden. I liked her lips. They were sweet and plump. And the feel of her tongue against mine was making me harder than I’d ever been in my whole life.
Kissing her was not like kissing the girls at school. There were no awkward fumbles and tight lips. Her mouth was juicy and sweet, and the way her little whimpers rose between us made me see stars. My hips started to roll, the ridge of my cock driving hard against the mound between her parted thighs.
