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He sighs. “I wonder if you agreed to marry me because you thought it was the right thing to do. Because we’ve been together for so long.”
“No, Kenneth. I agreed to marry you because that’s where my future lies. By your side, making a home with you, starting a family, and growing old together,” I say, removing his wineglass from his hands.
I loop my arms around Kenneth’s neck and press my forehead against his.
“You haven’t seemed excited about it since I asked you.”
I close my eyes but don’t like what I see resting behind them so I open my eyes again, pull back just a bit and stare at Kenneth as though memorizing his features. Because those are the ones that I need to see when I close my eyes.
There’s something there that I can’t pinpoint. I'd call it guilt if I didn’t know any better, but I doubt he has anything to feel guilty about. That must be my conscience speaking.
“I’ve been excited, Kenneth. There’s just so much that I have to get used to. This is a new thing for me, and I...well, I’m not sure what to feel so I’m cautiously navigating the waters.”
“Cautiously?”
“Uh, yeah. You ever been engaged before?” I ask.
He stares blankly back at me again before he says, “Of course not.”
“Ever been married?”
He stares blankly at me before saying, “Come on, you know better than that.”
“Right. So, this is new for us, and we must move through it carefully. Figuring out what we want our future to look like, what’s important and what’s not.”
“I thought we knew all those things already, Piper.”
“We did. As girlfriend and boyfriend but not husband and wife. Everything changes.”
“It doesn’t have to,” he argues.
“Yeah, it kinda does. This is a different level of commitment, Kenneth. I’m surprised you don’t realize that,” I say, pulling back further and preparing to get off his lap.
Kenneth quickly loops an arm around my midsection holding me in place.
“No, you don’t go anywhere. Tell me more.”
“About?”
“This new thing. This different relationship.”
“I don’t know what it’s going to be like. That’s what I’m saying to you. We have to figure this out together and how to positively work through things without holding grudges or allowing animosity to build up because one of us won’t express our true feelings on any given topic.”
“You mean how’re you still mad that I asked you to marry me at my brother’s wedding?”
“That’s one issue, but I’m getting over it now.”
“Are you?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“You said that’s one. What’s another?”
“How we want to rear our children could be an issue and what schools they’ll go to. What our careers look like and who’ll sacrifice what.”
“Well, as a Senator’s wife—”
“You haven’t even started campaigning yet.”
