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I press my hands against the cold windowpane and stare at the world. I don’t realize I’m pulling away from him until he gently pulls me back.
Unfortunately, I’m pulling away from him in more ways than one.
“Do you love him?”
It’s the first time he’s asked me that since he came to stay with me.
I shake my head because that much is true. I’m infatuated with Cade and secretly obsessed with Kincaid. That’s not something that I’ll share with my husband, though.
“How long did you say you’d been seeing him?”
“Not long,” I say in a soft voice.
He nods.
My body tenses because I know the next question. Although three weeks have passed since our reunion, we haven’t talked much about Kincaid.
Most of our time has been spent with him recounting everything he can recall about his last three years. After that, we discussed what had happened to me in his absence.
Then there’s been the tiptoeing around each other period where we’re trying to get comfortable with one another again and get to know each other all over.
“Have you...was he...telling the truth? Have you been intimate with him?”
I cringe inwardly as Kincaid’s words come back to me.
The best fucking orgasm she’ll ever know.
Crueler words have never rung so true.
“Yaya?” Nicky says softly in my ear.
“Yes, Nicky.” Turning in his arms, I try to explain. “I thought...I thought you were gone. I waited for three years, Nicky. I’m sorry.”
He doesn’t admonish me. Nicholas Tidwell does what he’s always done. He pulls me into his arms, shushing me and promising everything will be okay, but I know that’s a lie.
Someone will get hurt in this thing, and I’m not sure there will be only one person. My heart is ripping inside.
I feel his lips on my face before they drop down to my neck and shoulders.
“It’s okay, sweet girl. I know, and I’m not blaming you,” he says softly.
I pull my tear-drenched face away from his and look into his eyes. “I blame me, Nicky. I knew that you were out there somewhere. I tried to hold on, and I told....”
My words trail off into a hiccup of sobs as my mind returns to that time in my life. My husband lifts me and carries me back to my bedroom.
A room that until now has been mine but that I once again share with him. This apartment is new to him. After my breakdown and subsequent release from the hospital, I found a new place to live, unable to remain in the same home that I once shared with the man I vowed my life to.
I refused to give his things away but could no longer live with them. It was unhealthy, and if I wanted to make a clean break and move on, I had to leave my old life behind.
But he’s back now, and he’s taken up residence in my home and my bed, if not in my heart.
Nicky lays me gently on the bed and lays on top of me. His body's weight and heat are like an old familiar blanket, and I cup his face.
He leans down and kisses my lips.
“God only knows how much I’ve missed you, Yaya, and how much I wanted to be with you again when I remembered you.”
His knees shove my legs open, and his fingers find their way into my panties, swiping against my sex. His fingers plunge into me, and I open my legs further, waiting and hoping to feel the old, familiar flame.
