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So was my father's fist.
Enzo told me I should be brave and stop fear from paralyzing me. That I should pay attention and learn from my instincts. How they are always right.
Right now, they told me I should help, but how careful I must be. How I risked wrath, and pain if I didn’t plan out my next move.
“Okay,” I murmured, and rested my hands on the ground. “Stay here.”
“No, there are too many eyes. Tell her to go to the gold bathroom.”
“The gold bathroom?” I asked, that was next to my father’s study.
“I promise no one will know, okay?”
I hesitated.
“You have my word.”
With a little nod, I crawled through the dirt and slunk inside the crawl space opening. After placing the wire rack back in place, I scurried inside the house, sprinting toward my mother's room.
I knocked once, twice, but my mother never opened the door. I dusted my black dress and walked into the darkened room, but she wasn’t in her bed. Quietly, I walked closer to the opened door of her closet. A feeling to run crept in, as if I shouldn’t look for her.
But I found my mother’s face glowing with a bright light as she typed quickly into a small rectangular phone.
She didn’t have a phone, never seen her with one, and while I watched her tear-stricken face and sunken body holding on to the small rectangle, I knew I shouldn’t have.
Her eyes snapped, and her hands quickly fumbled to her chest, covering the phone with them.
“Katia.” She ushered me in. “You scared me, darling. Is everything okay? Is your father here?”
I shook my head. “Godfather Salvatu-ure is here.” His long name stumbled when I pronounced his full name instead of using the short version he’d requested to call him.
My mother wiped her tears and looked up at me with glazed eyes and jumpy movements.
“He said to meet him in the gold bathroom.”
She couldn’t stop looking past me, as if a figure would appear. I turned, but we were alone. Her head shook, and her feet paced. One last look at me, and her body turned to hide the device she’d held on to so tightly.
It’s okay, Mamma. I can keep your secrets.
“You didn’t see anything. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
Her nose sniffed loudly and she shuddered when she met me outside the large closet.
“Go play, I’ll find you soon.”
I did what she asked for. I left, but I didn’t return to my drawings, the endless supply of colored pencils, or the Barbie's that never talked back. Instead, I hid and watched from afar as she walked away from the room she ate and slept in. Her feet were silent as they took each step down to the main floor. I followed her from afar, keeping an eye on father's return and another on her.
Mother’s frame slithered inside the ajar door of the bathroom, leaving the light off. I took the chance to find a spot where I could keep the door visible without me near. The hall was not an easy place to hide, but the unscrewed air duct vents were friends for someone my size.
I squeezed inside and breathed in the dusty space with small shallow puffs. I had to be quiet.
“Gianna,” I heard my mother’s name whispered.
I scooted lower. Black shiny shoes against the opened door and a crimson stone revealed whose body it belonged to.
“You must hurry, I can’t be found here, Salvatore.”
