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“I have to go slow,” I insisted. “Don’t want to pop a stitch.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the stitches,” he growled, grabbing onto my hips and bouncing me on him, grabbing handfuls of my ass.
I gasped, pleasure rocketing through me as my pelvis grinded against his. “Rocco,” I moaned.
“Say it again,stellina,” Rocco ordered.
“Rocco,” I said again, breathless, looking down into his sea-green eyes. “Rocco, I’m going to come.”
“That’s right,stellina, I want to feel you come around me,” he panted, and he rolled his hips up into me. I could see pain flash across his face but I couldn’t bring myself to stop, rocking against him and crying out when I began to orgasm, clenching around him. “Fuck,” Rocco cursed. “Fuck, fuck, you feel like hot velvet.”
My orgasm hit me like a freight train. It’d been building for what seemed like forever, and when Rocco spilled inside me, I shuddered with aftershocks. My head felt dizzy but my thoughts became darker almost immediately.What did you just do?
I gently moved off Rocco and he groaned as he slipped out of me, still breathing hard. I looked down at the bandages on his ribs and saw blood blossoming through and cursed under my breath. “I told you you’d pop a stitch,” I scolded
The hot look and smug smirk that Rocco gave me made me shiver all over again. “Worth it.”
I chuckled, trying to push all the negative thoughts out of my head. I’d made a decision and maybe it wasn’t the right one, but I could separate sex from love. Rocco and I weren’t in love anymore. It wasn’t making love, it was just sex, and I could deal with that. Between the adrenaline and us being in such close proximity, it was bound to happen, right?
Rocco adjusted himself, pulling his sweats back up. “You know that this doesn’t mean anything,” I said flatly, not able to look at him.
Rocco didn’t speak for a long moment. “Sure,” he said finally, his voice soft. “Whatever you say,stellina.”
What wasthatsupposed to mean? I huffed out a breath. “I’m serious, Rocco. I don’t want you thinking—”
“Thinking what?” he asked, looking at me with his head tilted.
“Nothing,” I mumbled. “It was just a lapse in judgment. It won’t happen again.” Rocco didn’t respond, leaning back against the headboard, clearly in pain.
I grabbed the pain medication from the bedside drawer. “It’s not time yet,” he warned.
“It’s okay,” I said. “You’re gonna need it when I stitch you back up.”
Rocco sighed and then took the pill. I waited about fifteen minutes for it to work. He just keptstaringat me, and eventually his green eyes went a little glassy. “It’s been a long time since I was with a woman,” he admitted. “Sorry I didn’t last longer.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I mumbled, not wanting him to know that even if it was short, it was the best sex I’d had since…well, since the last time Rocco and I had made love. I thought about that moment often, that last time. I wondered if he’d known, even then, that he’d decided to leave me that night, because he’d cupped my face so gently, kissed me so softly, moved inside me so slowly.
I bit my lip, pushing those thoughts away. I couldn’t think about the past. Not now, after we’d just been intimate. It would only lead to my feelings being even more complicated. I pulled the bandage off gingerly and, sure enough, he’d popped two of the stitches. I took the needle and thread and slowly, carefully stitched the wound back together, just at the edge. Rocco grunted in pain but didn’t yell, so I thought the medication must be working. “Did it hurt?” I asked, putting away the needle and thread and putting a new bandage over the wound. It looked irritated and red, and I hoped the infection hadn’t had time to set in so quickly.
“Not much,” he said.
I looked over at him and he was still staring at me, his eyes intense. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, looking away, my cheeks feeling hot.
“I just like looking at you,” he said simply, smiling softly.
“Well, don’t,” I barked.
Rocco sighed. “Do you hate me,stellina?” he asked in a quiet voice.
I swallowed hard, surprised, and looked at him. He looked pained, and I didn’t think it was from his gunshot wound. I thought about it, really thought about it. Did I hate Rocco? Or was it just that I had loved him so much? It didn’t matter, and I couldn’t tell him the truth because I didn’t really know for myself. So I spoke as honestly as I could. “I don’t know,” I said softly, and Rocco made a displeased noise in the back of his throat. I looked away again. “Do you hate me?”
“Never,” he said quickly, his voice a hoarse whisper, and my eyes shot to his. “I could never hate you,stellina.”
He was looking at me too intently, too fondly, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I stood up quickly, grabbing my clothes from the floor and putting them on. “I’m craving something sweet,” I lied. “You want anything from the vending machine?” Rocco shook his head, looking away.
I approached the door and Rocco called my name, so softly I barely heard him. “Yes?” I asked, turning my head.
He looked at me for a long moment and then cleared his throat. “Will you get me a candy bar?” I nodded and he kept looking at me, like he wanted to say something else, but he never did.
