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“That’s not how it is at all,” I argued, but she just scoffed. “I asked your father not to tell you,” I said finally.
“Then why would you make a decision without consulting me?” she asked again.
I looked away, not wanting to tell her the whole truth. “Well, that’s mostly because…” I muttered, pausing for a long moment. “Because I was going to ask you to marry me.”
Allegra froze. “What did you just say?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, having a hard time looking at her. This wasn’t how I wanted to do the proposal, but it seemed like it was the only chance I would get, given how mad she was. “It would unite the families,” I said dumbly, even though that wasn’t the real reason I wanted to ask her. “And we could parent Matteo together.”
“Are you talking about a marriage of convenience, Rocco?” she asked.
No, I thought.No, I’m talking about a marriage of love. But I couldn’t say it. The words wouldn’t come out, so I just didn’t answer.
“I can’t believe you,” she hissed. “OrPapa! He said he wouldn’t use me as a tool, and here he is, marrying me off to the first guy who comes along.”
“It’s not like that, Allegra,” I insisted. “We have a child together. Don’t you think it would just be easier?”
Allegra glared at me. “No, Rocco, I don’t think it would be ‘easier.’ I’ve never wanted to enter a marriage that wasn’t about love. I’ve never considered marrying for power or money or convenience. I’ve always wanted to marry for love.”
I love you, I wanted to say.I love you and I’ve gone about this all wrong.“Allegra,” I started, and then the words wouldn’t come. If she rejected me after I told her I loved her, I didn’t know if I could take it. “Just…think about it.”
Allegra just stared at me for a long moment. “And how would this work?” she asked. “We tell Matteo that we’re getting married for business purposes?”
“He wouldn’t have to know that,” I said quickly, but it didn’t seem to make her feel any better.
“So we’d be lying to him?”
“You lied to him for ten years,” I snapped, feeling like she’d ruined everything. I’d planned for a heartfelt proposal during dinner, but between her anger and my worry that I’d be rejected, everything was going wrong.
Allegra looked away, biting her lip. “I’ll think about it,” she said finally, and I felt like there was a lot of distance between us, oceans-wide. I wanted to close the gap, take her in my arms, but instead she stalked past me back into the house, going back to the kitchen table. I wished again, for the third time, that I had a cigarette and hadn’t given up that bad habit. I cursed myself inwardly and walked back into the house, heading to the kitchen.
Allegra glared at her father as she sat down, and Romeo looked at me with a raised eyebrow, as if he knew why she was upset. I should have talked to her about it first, but I’d planned a surprise, had a ring in my pocket, and everything had gone balls-up. I didn’t know how I’d managed to muck this up so badly. All I could do was hope she understood that a marriage of convenience would be the best way going forward. That way, I’d never have to tell her how much she meant to me.
29
ALLEGRA
A marriage of convenience? What the hell had Rocco and my father been thinking? Why did either of them think that I would agree to that? I planned on giving my father a piece of my mind as soon as we were back home. We left Enzo’s and I gave him a polite goodbye, but in the car I was dead silent. Rocco sighed, pulling out onto the road. “You said you’d think about it,” he said quietly. Matteo was dozing in the backseat.
“Who said I wasn’t?” I said sullenly, looking out the car window.
“I can tell by how quiet you are that you’re still angry,” Rocco accused.
“Of course I’m still angry,” I replied. “You came in and took over my whole life, tried to take over my business, want to marry me to use me as a tool to unite our families—”
“That’s not what I meant,” Rocco insisted, exasperated, but I wasn't listening, just staring out the window so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
When we arrived at home and I got Matteo into his bed, I walked with purpose to my father’s office. He was just about to leave to go to bed, looking drawn and tired, but I didn’t care. “I need to speak to you,” I said flatly.
My father sighed and went back into his office, bracing himself against the desk as he looked at me. “You’re pissed off,” he said simply.
I huffed out a frustrated breath. “You're damn right I’m pissed off,” I snapped. “You didn’t tell me about the plan to unite the families.”
“I thought you’d be happy,” Papa said, raising a strong eyebrow. “You’re the one who always told me we should have more allies instead of enemies.”
I groaned. “And I stand by that, but at the same time, I want to beinformed, Papa.” I paused as he remained silent. “And did you know about this whole ‘marriage of convenience’ deal?”
“Marriage of convenience?”
