AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Theymadeloveuntilthe wee hours of the morning. Stella couldn’t get enough of him. Not just because the sex was good, but because there was something more going on. He had a way of touching her. Slow and gentle at first, then rough when she wanted it. Never too rough. She wouldn’t walk away with bruises or anything, but he seemed to intuit her needs. She also loved the feel of him inside her. It was as close to heaven as she’d ever been and she didn’t want it to end.
As the sky started to change colors outside of her window, they lay together under the low beating motion of her ceiling fan, the air coming down on her skin feeling cool and welcome. She nuzzled close to him, feeling blissfully safe in his arms. How did she even get here?
Less than a month ago, they couldn’t stand each other. Now, he was all she wanted. Maybe this was just the afterglow flowing through her, making her think this was something more than it was. All she knew was that she couldn’t remember the last time she felt like this about anyone.
“Stella?” She heard him speak lazily. His deep voice vibrated against the side of her face.
“Hmm?”
“You’re still awake,” he said.
“I am.”
He took a deep breath and she listened to his heart beating as his chest rose and fell beneath her face. “What has happened to us?”
She ran her hand over his chest, her fingers tracing the muscles of his pecs. She moved her fingers down to the hills of his abdomen, admiring his form. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
He chuckled softly. “I don’t know what this is,” he said, “but…it’s been a long time since I felt like this. I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here in bed with you.”
“Same,” she said. They fell silent. She listened to the sound of his heart a little longer.
“I think,” she said softly, “That we’re both like wounded birds that have been through a hard winter storm. Maybe you and I are just trauma bonding.”
He didn’t say anything at first. Then, very softly, he whispered. “I don’t know.”
She thought about how he’d told her that the last woman he loved cheated on him years ago and wondered. People cheat on other people all the time, but sometimes that was just the kind of thing that could change a person’s mind about everything. Had that changed him so drastically? Richard might have been a different person before his ex broke his heart. She knew she was different from before the time when she was married.
“Can I ask you something?” she asked.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Your ex…the one that cheated on you…she’s the reason you haven’t dated anyone.”
He paused, then, “That’s not a question.”
“Isn’t it, though?”
He took in a long deep breath and said, “Yes. I haven’t dated anyone since Eleanor.”
She bit her lip thoughtfully. “You sound so nonchalant about that.”
“Believe me,” he said, “I’m not. Eleanor was the only woman that I’d ever really loved. Relationships had always been hard for me. Having only seen dating as a means to an end, I never saw the point in connecting with someone. And then I met her. Or rather, she met me.”
He paused, his finger dragging along her arm lightly. “She came into my life and changed everything that I thought about love. I didn’t know I could feel that way about anyone. And once I was in love, I started to build my life with her in it. I saw my entire life plan with her by my side. And then, just like that, it was over. I still don’t even know what I did to deserve it. I used to ask myself if there was anything I could have done that would have changed the outcome of our marriage. Maybe I could have been more attentive or more loving. Maybe I could have been…I don’t know. Better to her somehow.”
“Who said you did anything?” said Stella. “Sometimes things like that happen and you have no control over them.”
“Hmm.” He thought about that for a moment, then he said, “You think that I could have been the best man in the world and she still would have cheated?”
“It’s possible. I’ve seen it happen.”
He snorted a laugh. “Have you not been paying attention, Stella? I’m an asshole. Everyone knows it.”
“Don’t say that about yourself.”
“It’s true. Even you thought so. Admit it.”
She lifted her head off his chest and looked at him directly. “You don’t really think that, don’t you?”
