AllFreeNovel
Share Us
We get close to the ranch as the song fades—the drive back is much shorter than driving cattle across the countryside—and I lean over to kiss Jack’s cheek. “Are you okay if we take a slight detour?”
Jack smiles, and instead of pulling into Wyatt and Emma’s ranch house, I drive down the road to the next dirt drive about a mile away. I squeeze the wheel tighter, anxious about showing her my baby, but the contractors have just finished framing and putting on the boards for the roof, and I want to share what will one day be my home with her. Her eyes widen as we pull up to where the driveway will circle in front of the huge porch. We both hop out of the truck and run through the rain to the shelter of the porch. Jack practically jogs inside the construction site.
“Luca,” she says, looking at me. “This place is going to be huge. Look at these views!” She glances around at the hills off in the distance
. I take her from room to room, explaining my vision for each. Then, I show her my bedroom with the massive ensuite bathroom. I point to where a soaking tub will be with views of the hills through the large window.
I find myself trying to sell this place to her. Because for some reason, I crave her approval. I want to know that Jack could see herself here. Even though, realistically, I’m not certain that that could actually happen. She’d be walking away from a whole life in California. I grew up in the city. I’ve worked with the corporate types, and working here, I’ve also met enough city slickers on these retreats to know I’m the exception to the rule. The normal city-folk stay in the city and come here when they want a break from the proverbial rat race. Many talk about moving away, slowing down, but so few ever do.
As she walks through the place, pointing out what she can see from the studs alone, I want those touches that are uniquely her in this place too. I suddenly can’t imagine ever bringing another woman here. Shoving my hands into my pockets, I shake that thought out of my head.
“It’s so big for one person,” Jack says as we return to the truck.
I start the ignition, but before driving away, I turn to her. “I do hope I’m not alone forever, Jack.”
Her entire face distorts, and she averts her eyes. “No, no. Of course not. And you won’t be. I mean. I can’t believe you don’t already have women lined up for you. You’re so great, Luca.”
“You don’t have to say that, Jack,” I say and mean it. I didn’t bring her here with any kind of plans, but I can’t help the thoughts of her. Of us living here and working with Wyatt and Emma, and the horses… all of it. I put the truck into drive and pull around the driveway, eager to get the horses unloaded and in their stables.
“But I mean it,” she says quietly, her smile fading into something else. “Someday, some woman will be lucky enough to have you love her, and this house will be filled with kids. And if I ever come back here for another corporate retreat, there will be little Lucas running around.”
Jack looks out the window, and we ride in silence until we get to Wyatt and Emma’s.
I unload the horses and we systematically and silently lead them into the stables and to individual stalls. Jack hangs out with Jasper, brushing his coat and sprinkling kisses all over him. Lucky horse.
She lets out a big sigh. “I’m going to miss you so much, Jasper,” Jack says, and he snorts.
Jasper leans into her, prodding her to give him more rubs. She happily obliges with a little laugh, and it’s clear they’ve formed a strong connection too. I can sense in him that he doesn’t want her to leave either.
“Will you miss him more than me?” I ask. My voices drips with so much desperation that it’s almost embarrassing. But alone with her, I feel vulnerable. If I knew how she felt or that this whole thing was definitely only a fling to her, perhaps the thought of bringing Jack to the airport in the morning and saying goodbye to her wouldn’t be ripping me apart inside.
“I don’t know,” Jack says, smirking in my direction. “Jasper is pretty cute.”
As usual, Jack steers the conversation in another direction, and I know that if we’re going to have a real conversation about what we are, I’m going to have to just go for it.
Soon.
Jack
I donned a joking faceand made a quip about Jasper, but it was a show. I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but no, I will not miss Jasper more than I’ll miss Luca. However, telling him how much I want more time with him scares the living daylights out of me. In the last few days, I’ve forgotten all about work and the project. Do I really care? Does the thought of letting someone else run my project bother me? Will the world stop if I don’t go back and finish it on time, make a million sales, and get a promotion? Will I be so much worse off if I don’t prove that a girl can perform just as well as all the men around her? Somehow, I think the surprising answer to all these questions isno.
The home Luca is building is going to be beautiful with tons of space for kids and dogs to run and play and better views than I would have imagined possible in New Mexico. I always imagined this state would look like the armpit of the earth—flat, dusty, no plants, and too hot for animals to come out during the day.
I was so very wrong. It has lots of brown but there’s green too. The trees aren’t redwoods with tall canopies, but they’re lush around the desert floor. The mountains in the distance are simply majestic. I could get accustomed to looking out over them as the sun sets for the day.
I gulp in a breath and blink several times to clear my thoughts. I can’t reconcile my life so far with the notion of staying here, yet... making a life with Luca seems, not only possible, but nice. Adventurous. Peaceful. But I can’t let whatever’s here in the desert air cloud my senses this way. No. I need to go home and at least finish the work I’ve begun.
Jasper’s snout is warm against my lips as I give him a final kiss goodbye and turn to Luca. He tilts his head toward the door. “Ready to clean up for dinner?”
Just the word sounds delightful. Trail baths and wet wipes can only do for so long. I have dry hair, so I don’t wash it daily, but after the trek through the desert, my scalp is even beginning to itch.
Side by side, we meander back toward the ranch house. The storm has passed just in time for us to see the sunset set the desert on fire with the last red rays of the day.
“You know,” says Luca, “after the pandemic, I don’t think you’d have to give up your career to live here.”
My head whips around to look at him. “What?” I’m not certain, but I think he might have just asked me to move to New Mexico. We’ve been growing closer, but I was certain he’d let me go home tomorrow and we’d perhaps talk for a while before we move on from this little interlude in both our lives.
He shrugs and squints into the setting sun behind me. “I hear that many companies are letting their employees work remotely now. I read somewhere that they’re even downsizing office space and creating something called ‘hotel desks’ for when people absolutely need to be in the office.”
