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Oh, that feels nice. I might never get back up again. I now live on this couch. Please forward my mail.
“Okay, before you freak out, just listen,” she started off slowly, and I felt my entire body tense. No good conversation started withbefore you freak out.
I fidgeted but stayed seated. Partly because I was convinced my feet would give out on me the moment I tried to use them again and also because this was suddenly the most comfortable couch on the planet. Who cared that it was from my mom and so worn down that you could almost feel the support bar under your butt? Not me. At least, not right now.
“Okay, so,” she tried to talk, but I interrupted.
“Kayla, don’t drag whatever this is out. Just say it,” I snapped but only because if she didn’t spit it out soon, my eyes would close and not open again until morning.
“Joseph needs a date to the Social Month events, and I told him you’d do it.” Her head whipped back as she braced for my response.
I suddenly felt anything but tired. “Joseph? As in your jerk-off of a boss, Joseph?” I stuttered his name because the one time I’d met the guy, I’d made a complete ass out of myself. Sure, he’d deserved it for saying the things he’d said to me and setting me off, but still. I was embarrassed and completely okay with going the rest of my life without ever seeing his stupidly smug face again. “And you told him I’d what?”
“Go with him to some of the events.” She winced and shrugged a shoulder.
“He called me an evil troll, Kayla!” I shouted, and she started laughing. “An evil troll! And that was after insulting me numerous times.”
“He’s sorry,” she said, and I narrowed my eyes at her.
“No, he’s not.”
“You’re right. He’s not.” She exhaled loudly. “But I’m sure he will be. He can be. Whatever you need.”
“I need him to go back in time and take away all the stupid shit that came out of his mouth so that night never happened the way it did.”
“It can’t be that bad. You never told me what he said to you anyway,” she pushed, and I shook my head.
“It was bad. And I’m not repeating it,” I growled.
The memory of Kayla’s drunken boss being a complete asshole to me for no reason played in my head. I’d thought I’d gotten over it. The man meant nothing to me, but the way I was feeling right now, it could have happened last night—my anger felt so fresh.
“You’re our only option,” she announced, as if that made it a done deal.
“I can’t be. There has to be someone else. Anyone else,” I argued. “I don’t have time to go on dates. Why would you do that? Why would you suggest me, of all people? We can’t stand each other.”
She threw her hands in the air before pulling at her short brown layers. “Because he needs a date or else his mom will never leave andEat Pray Loveher life away!”
It was my turn to pull hair, and I wrapped my red locks around my fingers. “What? Stop. Slow down. Start from the beginning, and I’ll try to stay awake.” I bit back a yawn. “You’re not making any sense.”
I listened as Kayla did her best to fill me in on what Joseph’s mom had said to him. The only problem was…I didn’t care.The issue seemed so mundane, so irrelevant to my life that I couldn’t seem to muster up any emotion to actually give a shit.
“So, what do you think? Will you do it?” my roommate asked, her tone hopeful.
“No.”
“No?” she repeated, sounding exasperated. “Why the hell not?”
Shaking my head, I was too tired to mince words, too exhausted to play nice, so I didn’t. “Because I don’t care, Kayla. Poor little rich boy’s mommy won’t go away and leave him alone to run his multi-million-dollar company? I don’t have time for this kind of thing. It’s stupid. And I’m not stupid.”
“I already told him you’d do it.”
She made it sound like I didn’t have a choice in the matter, but this was my life, and I had nothing but choices.
“Well, that’s on you then. I never said I would. And you knew damn well I wouldn’t agree to this.”
Her lips formed a snarl as she tossed her head back against the cushions. “Of course I knew you’d say no.” She lifted her head to look me square in the eyes. “But that’s why I asked him for some incentive.”
What could she have figured I’d possibly want or need that would get me to agree to this potential shitshow?
