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“Sounds good.” I started moving some of my fish from the ice trays to a cooler.
If Rory would get out of my space, I could pack up my things and head home to pout in private.
“Wait a second.” Rory blew out a breath through his nose, his eyes narrowing. “Why are you encouraging me to do this?”
“Because I don’t think there’s a chance in hell she’ll tell you yes.” I grinned like the asshole I was.
“Seriously?”
“What? Am I wrong?”
“I sure as hell hope so,” he said as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his shorts before yanking them out again.
“I guess we’ll find out later,” I offered.
His eyes practically bugged out of his head. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, buddy. I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” I laughed before he shut me right up.
He took a small step closer to me and lowered his voice. “You know, you’re going to be sorry. You’re going to be sitting there, wishing it were you, knowing that it probably could have been but that you were too chickenshit to ask and find out. So, instead of it being your body keeping Ava’s warm in her bed, it’s going to be mine. And you’re going to hate every second of it because you’ll always know that it might have been different if you’d only tried. You’ll have to live with that fact every single day.”
His words struck more than a single nerve in me. It hit them all.
“You have no idea what I have to live with every single day, Rory. No fucking idea,” I spat before I turned my back on him and packed up the rest of my shit in a fury.
“You’re right. I don’t. But I’m pretty sure you deserve to be happy. Even if you don’t think you do.”
I tried my best to ignore him and not respond, so when I looked back over my shoulder, I was grateful to find Rory across the way at his station, no longer paying me any attention.
He had no idea what he was talking about, and he couldn’t have been more wrong. Happiness was the last thing I deserved. I’d had it once. And then I’d lost it. No, I’d destroyed it.
I was currently sitting in my house, staring at the wall, my hand absentmindedly rubbing Barley’s head as I tried my best not to come unglued. I’d been sitting here for hours. There was so little holding me together right now that I figured I could unravel at any moment. I hadn’t felt this out of control in a long time. My past always lingered close behind, but I’d gotten good at keeping it at bay and attempting to live a normal life. Even if I was alone for the rest of it.
Meeting Ava had thrown me all out of whack. She was such a bright and beautiful light that it emanated from her very being, and it had pulled at me the first time I ever laid eyes on her at the inn. But I had been in such a dark place that I couldn’t risk the chance of snuffing it out, certain that I had nothing to offer her other than the pitch-black hole I was living in.
Not much had changed in nine months. I was still a rain cloud, and she was still the sun.
Thinking about her made me smile without warning. I thought about Rory’s plan and realized that Ava was far too sweet to ever tell him no, especially if he asked her out in front of other people. She’d never embarrass him like that. Even if she didn’t want to go, she’d agree in order for him to save face.
But what if she didn’t?
There had to be sides to Ava I hadn’t figured out yet. Pieces of her that I had no idea existed. She’d been hurt in the past. Cheated on, I’d overheard in passing once. That kind of thing had to change a person. Yet here Ava was, still hopeful, kind, and warm.
I had it bad for the woman. Couldn’t even see a single negative quality about her. And worst of all, Rory knew it. He had damn well called me out on it. Practically dared me to challenge him for her affection.
I sat up straight.
“He told me to challenge him,” I said out loud, still stroking Barley’s head when he moved to look at me, his ears perking up. “What do you think, boy? Why would Rory want me to fight him for the same girl?”
Barley whined in response, his tail thumping against the couch.
“You’re right. He has some kind of angle. You’re so smart,” I complimented my dog, who I’d grown to believe could communicate with me with looks and head tilts.
Rory had said that I deserved to be happy. It was an odd thing for a man to say to another man… especially when you didn’t really know each other.
Why would he have said that?I wondered.
Reaching for my cell phone, I pulled up mymami’s contact information and debated on texting her. I knew that she would call me in response instead of writing back, and I wasn’t sure that I was up for a heavy conversation right now. She always asked too many questions.
