AllFreeNovel
Share Us
PEGGY
I knelt on the ground, brushing some of the dead, dry leaves from the tombstone at my late husband’s grave, his name coming into view. Darren Hollis 1984-2015. A tear escaped my eye.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been here in a while,” I said quietly. “I don’t want to say I’ve been too busy, but I’ve been busy. Peggy’s Petals has really taken off. I’ve been so busy with orders that I’ve had to hire not only a delivery driver, but a couple students to help.” I smiled, looking down at his name. “I think you’d be proud.”
I placed the small arrangement of ‘Stargazer’ lilies beside his name and placed my gardening pillow on the ground, sitting myself on it. I hadn’t been to his graveside for a while, but I’d had to drive into Cedar’s Landing to get some supplies for the shop. It was the first day it wasn’t raining, so I figured it was a good day to come. Letting out a sigh, I stared at his name.
“As much as I worried that moving to Willow Valley would be a bad thing, it turned out to be an excellent decision. I have so many things I want to tell you. The most important being that I wish you were still here. Life has been interesting without you.”
I looked down at the grass in front of me and watched as a ladybug made her way up onto a blade of grass. I placed my hand down and allowed the little red bug to crawl into my hand.
“Darren, it’s been lonely navigating all these waters alone. All these unknown territories. The house needs a lot of repair and renovation work. You can only imagine how much I don’t know about that stuff. I know you’d love Willow Valley, and most times, I still feel that you are there with me. Sometimes, I still catch the scent of your cologne and think to myself, you must be right behind me. I’ve even caught myself talking to you as if you were in the room,” I murmured, watching the little red bug make its way over my fingers.
“Anyway, the store is doing well, and I love Willow Valley. One of the local girls who works at The Crispy Biscuit, Melinda, just started an army pen pal program. Her father is a marine, and I guess he just got re-deployed, so she feels this is the perfect time. Trinity wants me to join her in writing letters.” I swallowed hard. “She says it will be more fun if we both do it.” I rolled my eyes thinking back to our conversation over coffee the other morning.
“You know, Darren, I can barely remember what your voice sounds like. With every day that passes, another part of you floats away from me. I can’t feel your touch anymore. When you first were gone, I could lie in bed and close my eyes and still feel you beside me, your arms around me, but now that is gone. It scares me. I’m afraid that one day I am going to wake up and all I’m going to have left to remember you by is a name and a date.” I wiped at the tears that escaped my eyes. “And the horrible memory of never being able to apologize to you for all those things I said, to tell you I love you before you left me.” Tears slid down my cheeks as I thought back to that night.
“It seems people think I should start dating again. I keep telling them I’m not ready, but really, it’s more that I’m afraid of what you might think. I know that sounds silly, since you aren’t here anymore, but we never talked about what would happen if one of us were no longer here. However, I also didn’t think that conversation was important because I didn’t plan on being a widow before we got a chance to really begin our life together, either. If I think about it, I’m sure you’re probably up there rolling your eyes at me, thinking I’m being ridiculous. I can almost hear you laugh at me.”
Growing quiet, I looked out at the small pond in the cemetery. I’d picked this spot for Darren, right at the edge of the pond, because he’d loved to fish. It was his happy place on weekends. I’d figured this would be the best final resting spot for my husband. “It’s been almost eight years since you left me. For whatever reason, I’m finding this year to be harder than the rest. Well, perhaps not harder than the first, but… this year is harder.” I swallowed hard, forcing the guilt from my mind.
As I looked out over the small body of water, a Trumpeter swan landed and began swimming toward me. Confused at the fact the bird was alone, I watched him for a while. I remembered the first time I’d ever seen one. Darren and I had gone out to a lake to fish, and two had landed on the water. At first, because of their size, I was afraid of them, and as they swam closer to the boat, Darren wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him, holding me tight.
“No need to be afraid, Peggy,” he’d said. “Him and his girl are just out on a date like us.” He kissed my cheek.
I smiled and watched the two large birds swim around the water. “Or I wonder if that is his flavor of the month.” I giggled.
Darren chuckled. “Actually, Trumpeter swans, they mate for life.”
“Really.”
“Yep. I’ve even heard that if one mate dies, sometimes the one left behind never mates again. It’s rare but happens.”
“Wow, can you imagine, only ever having one mate?” I giggled.
“Do I need to be worried about you?” Darren asked, tickling my side.
I laughed. “Watch it, mister. You never know what sort of harem I may have waiting. You know, I do have all those men in my romance novels.” I giggled.
“To think, all my friends warned me about you.” He winked. “They told me not to trust the quiet ones, especially the ones that read romance books, and yet here I am, with the quietest one of the bunch.”
The sound of wings fluttering caused me to jump, and I watched as the swan climbed up on the grass just a few feet away from me. He waddled along, picking at the grass, and then stopped and looked directly at me. He stood there, watching me for what seemed forever, and then something scared him, and he spread his wings and took off in the opposite direction.
“Darren, did you see that?” I whispered to the emptiness, just as I’d been doing all afternoon.
I smiled as I watched the swan fly off. I looked down at the stone that held my late husband’s name and wondered what we might have had had he still been here.
“I guess I’ll see you in a few months, when I come back to Cedar Landing for more supplies. Just know that I miss you. Just know I’d be here more often if I could be.”
* * *
I flipped the sign on the front door to closed and turned the little lock. Checking the time, I noticed I was already late. My last customer had come in to place an order and didn’t have the slightest clue what she wanted. Rushing around the shop, I put the last of the flowers that were still out back into the cooler and then grabbed my purse and made my way out the back door.
I had ten minutes to get down to Bluebird Books to meet Trinity. We’d promised Melinda and Brooke we’d be at The Crispy Biscuit for the announcement of this new pen pal program. I glanced at my watch again and picked up my pace and arrived just as Trinity was locking up the store.
“Hey, lady!” I waved as I crossed the street. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Hey! I was getting worried that you wouldn’t make it on time.” Trinity pulled her key from the door of the store and shoved it in her purse before giving me a hug.
