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Lucas’s shaky voice is just like his hands, and I don’t know if I should be nervous or excited. Part of me dreads this moment ending in case he hurts me in the end.
I don’t think I could survive Lucas Kennedy breaking my heart.
“I know you and I aren’t perfect, Allie, but this moment feels like it to me.”
I swallow a lump in my throat and force myself to sound normal, though my voice comes out like a whisper. “Me too.”
He leans back and cups my cheek. Lucas slows us to a slow sway with his other hand on my hip. His eyes shine in the moonlight, and I study every inch of his face while he licks his lips.
“Allie, I’m not sure how to explain it, but when I touch you, it’s like waking up for the first time and I’m seeing things clearly. Being with you feels like the most natural thing to me. We can be ourselves together and accept one another for the little imperfections the other has. It’s just...real.”
My stomach flips, and my heart races with anticipation for every word from his lips.
“When I get to kiss you or you smile at me or laugh, my heart beats differently than it ever has. You bring me life, Allie, and you made life. Jadon is the perfect mix of us and I look forward to all the babies we make together after him. You and Jadon? You’re both home to me, Allie, and I won’t ever let you go.”
Lucas swallows, and I stop breathing. “Allie, I don’t say it without meaning it and knowing it deep down. I love you and you’re everything to me.”
He takes shuddered breaths and I’m thinking he might ask me…
Is he?
“Uh,” Lucas smiles and looks down at our feet and I find myself on my toes, waiting. Hoping. Hanging on to every sound he makes.
He’s going to ask me. This is the perfect spot, and it’s beautiful and we both look nice and he said all those nice things.
Lucas takes a step back from me, and I bite my tongue from shouting a premature yes. He needs to ask first. Those tears I was trying to hold back are pricking my eyes and one escapes.
Lucas pats his pants down and shoves his hands into his pockets. I bite down on my lip, hoping I don’t look too excited. Or like I’m expecting anything.
Shoot, I hope this makeup isn’t a mess.
“Uh.” Lucas pats down his pockets again and looks around on the ground with his brow furrowed and lips pursed. The smile and bright look in his eye fade.
What’s he doing?
“Lucas?” His eyes snap back to me and he is in full-blown panic. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he blurts. Anger flashes across his face, leaving a deep wrinkle between his brows. Lucas takes a deep breath as that sweet moment disappears. “I thought I felt something weird in my pocket.” He bites off a curse under his breath.
The butterflies die in my stomach. I thought he was going to ask me to marry him. Maybe I was misreading it all.
“Come on,” he says, while pulling my hand. “Let’s get out of here.” His mood turned sour within seconds, and Lucas is not himself right now. Lucas is always happy and stupidly upbeat. Now he’s just not.
“Are you okay?”
He forces a smile and nods. “Yeah, it’s all good,” he clips.
It most certainly is not “all good.” He was smiling while professing his love thirty seconds ago. What changed?
Did I do something wrong?
“Are you just dropping me off at home?” He’s angry and I’m wondering if it is me. I’m not sure. I haven’t seen Lucas angry like this before. His forehead creases and jaw has a residual tick that my dad gets when his teams lose a game.
Something like disgust flashes across his face when I ask him. “What? No.” He squeezes my hand and marches us back to his car. “You’re coming with me.”
Maybe he just wanted to dance and tell me he loved me.
I’m okay with that.
