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He turned his pale, wan face to her as she caught up. “To the ship. If you aren’t returning to Haven, I’ll catch a trip from elsewhere. Or I’ll just book a travel shuttle.”
“You’re babbling. Stop for a second, Tumsa. Damn it, will you stop and talk to me? What happened between you and Doljen?”
For a wonder, he did halt. “It’s done and over with. I was a fool to think there was any possibility of fixing my clan.”
“Is that what you were hoping for?” Her heart ached to witness him so despondent. She had the wild urge to wrap her arms around him and hold him.
“I guess it was. I thought I’d come to apologize, maybe find some closure to that chapter of my life, but…yeah. Underneath it all, I wanted my clan in one piece again. Some part of me was hoping for a miracle.” He choked on a laugh. Or maybe it was a sob. “Pathetic.”
“No, Tumsa. It isn’t pathetic at all. You love them.” She swiped away a tear crawling down her cheek and glared at the curious orderly who openly gawked as he walked by. “Come on. Let’s find a private place to talk.”
“What’s the point?” Despite his protest, he didn’t resist when she tugged him into an empty patient room and closed the door.
“Because those two stubborn fools still love you too. And each other.”
“It won’t work out, Bernadette. There’s too much shit to shovel out to fix this.”
She restrained the urge to slug him. He was already in plenty of pain. “Listen, I’m taking Doljen with me. He’s my second chance at a happily-ever-after, and I refuse to give that up. But until you three get your acts together, he’ll be miserable, and I won’t have my prince charming.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She huffed. “For Doljen to be really, truly happy, the scenario on whichmyhappiness hinges, it’ll have to be a package deal. All four of us. Fortunately, I’m infatuated with Hal, despite how bent he is on irritating me. After seeing him damned near dead, I realize for a fact I’d prefer to keep the big lug around.”
It was true. After dragging the unresponsive Nobek from under the debris and discovering he had no pulse, she’d been swept by a panicked grief too profound to be anything but the beginnings of love. No doubt Hal would enjoy smirking at her over that, if he lived to do so.
He’d better, or I’ll never forgive him.
Tumsa blinked at her. Shock filled his expression. “Are you asking to join our clan? Our fucked-up, blown-to-pieces clan?”
“Congratulations on catching up to current events. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. For Doljen most especially, but for Hal too, I want you to put your clan together and include me in it.”
He gaped. “You know next to nothing about me. What makes you think you can stand me?”
“Oh, good. It’s whether I can put up with you, rather than the other way around. The battle’s half won.”
“I didn’t say that.” Tumsa was recovering from his astonishment and, she was glad to note, his defeatist attitude. “I mean, I’d be willing to consider you as my clan’s Matara in normal circumstances, but as things are—”
“Let me sweeten the deal.” Desperation to keep him from talking himself out of her sudden insane scheme called for desperate measures. She slid her jacket off and released her hair from its bun, allowing it to tumble down her shoulders and back.
“What are you doing?”
“Making a case for bringing you around to my way of thinking. Besides, it would be a shame to let this bed go to waste.” She began unbuttoning her shirt.
“Halmiko—”
“Doljen said he’d be in surgery for hours.”
“You can’t be serious.” His eyes were wide with disbelief, but he stayed where he stood.
“When it comes to Doljen, I’m nothing but serious.” Her blouse slid down her arms and puddled on the floor. In her head, she urged Tumsa to find her attractive enough to succumb. “We’re on the same side when it comes to that, aren’t we? Making things right for all of us?”
“How will accepting me as your Dramok make it right for you? Outside of healing Doljen, I mean? Bernadette, it wouldn’t be right for me to take advantage of your desperation to help him, as much as I’d like to do so for my own selfish reasons.”
He was so damned ethical, which would be a point in his favor if it didn’t stand in her way. Tumsa was simultaneously earning her respect and frustrating her. “Clans form for lesser reasons, don’t they? Listen. You’re hot and handsome. You’ve shown me nothing but respect and courtesy. We can make this work for you and me, not just for Doljen.”
He licked his lips as she tugged her pants down. His arousal scent tinged the air. “He’ll smell me on you. He’ll realize what we did.”
“Good. If you and I can form even the slightest bond, it’ll help convince him to give this a chance. To give himself an opportunity to heal.”
