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“Hi, Blake.”
Her voice was a little higher than usual, showing her excitement. Blake had called her every evening since she last saw him, and his calls were something she always looked forward to.
“Hi beautiful. How are you today?” Blake’s rough, deep voice was just what she needed to hear. A warmth radiated all over her body as soon as it resonated through the speaker.
“I’m good. Just eating ice cream and watching a show. What have you been up to all day?”
“The usual: helping out my family on the grounds, making sure everything is taken care of.”
As always, he was being vague about his day-to-day activities. From what she understood, his family had a huge area of land to take care of and he helped maintain it. Even though she didn’t understand how he or his family earned their money.
“I might not be able to call for the next few days. Seth and I are going to take care of a few things and he’ll be by my side at all times.”
A wave of sadness washed over her, tears running down her cheeks. Her strong reaction to his words confused her. She usually wasn't one for crying easily, but lately she’d been feeling moody, spilling tears over the simplest of things. It was irritating.
“I’m sorry, I wish it were different.” His voice had a depressed tone. “After I take care of these things, I’ll visit you. I promise.”
“I miss you,” she quietly sobbed.
“Please don’t cry, beautiful.”
“Why can’t I visit you? I’ve been to your home before. Why can’t I come again?”
“It’s just a rule my family follows.”
“I hate your rules.”
She was getting frustrated. His family’s “rules” were always the excuse. He never explained why they followed the rules or why no one was allowed on their land. The more she thought about it, the more she was sure there was some sort of cult involved.
“I know and I wish I could explain it to you, but I can’t right now.”
“Why not? You know everything about me, and I barely know a thing about you.” She let her anger get the best of her. “I wish you trusted me the way I trust you. I’m starting to think I should’ve never trusted you in the first place.”
“Niev, please don’t say that. I trust you but I just can’t go against my father. I have to obey him.”
“What are you? Six years old? You’re a grown man. It’s really getting frustrating. You clearly don’t trust me, and that hurts. I miss you to pieces and I wish you were here with me every second of the day, but it seems like you don’t feel the same toward me.” The tears kept running down her cheeks, leaving salty, burning streaks on her face.
“Niev, please. One day youwillunderstand.”
“One day isn’t good enough. I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. It hurts me to wait for you. It literally burns my soul not having you around and not knowing when or even if I can see you again. You’re clearly not on the same page as I am.”
Before he could say another word, she hung up the phone.
She inhaled the entire tub of ice cream, sobbing and crying the entire way through it while the TV ran in the background. Her feelings were swirling, even though she couldn’t explain why she’d been so emotional lately.
She instantly regretted saying those things to Blake–she regretted ending things. It physically pained her, making her heart ache. On the other hand, however, she was somewhat glad she’d ended things. She didn’t know if he would keep his promise to see her, or if he was just trying to buy himself more time. She liked him–a lot–but she’d never pictured herself to be in a relationship like this–or whatever situation they were in. It felt like a long-distance relationship, only talking on the phone and not being able to be around one another. She wanted to be close to him, wanted to feel his touch and it was torturing her not being able to do so.
She was trying to convince herself that she’d made the best possible decision for herself. Even though it was hard thinking about not ever seeing him or hearing his voice again, she knew waiting for him would hurt her even more. Would she even want to be involved with his family and all their oddities?
“Did he break up with you?”
She flinched. She hadn’t noticed Jason come in the front door. He sat down next to her and laid his arm around her. He switched out his partners faster than he did underwear, but he’d always been there for her.
“Should I go find him and punch him in the balls for you?”
“I broke up with him–if you could even say that. I’m not even sure if we were in a real relationship at all.”
“Even if you weren’t, you care about him. You wouldn’t be crying if you didn’t.” He hugged her tighter. “Maybe it wasn’t a typical relationship, but you had feelings for him, and he seemed to dismiss them. Otherwise, he would’ve come to see you more often.”
