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Only then did Blake notice the silence around him. Everyone else had stopped their conversations to listen to the two of them.
“Why aren’t they fighting right now? If that’s what they came for, why aren’t they doing it?”
“We don’t know. They don’t know our territory as well as we do. Maybe they are waiting for us to attack first, maybe they just want to make us nervous and enjoy the fear they are spreading among us. Or maybe we are a larger pack than they expected us to be and want to weaken us by taking their time.”
“Do you know how big their pack is?”
“No and since the attack on us we haven’t seen other wolves. They are keeping their distance, likely to mask their size.”
“It’s clever of them. People fear the unknown more than anything else. If they don’t show themselves, no one actually knows how many enemies are out there. It makes everyone fear the worst.”
“Exactly.”
She looked up and once she realized everyone had been listening, she blushed and quickly looked back down.
His mother got up. “Let’s not think about this right now. Let me grab the cake.” She walked toward the kitchen and everyone else started to clear the dirty plates from the table to make room for dessert.
Niev was deep in thought throughout dessert. She must have had a thousand more questions, but she stayed quiet, not wanting to darken the mood again. After everyone had finished their cake, he stood up and turned to Niev.
“Would you like to show me the baby stuff you were talking about earlier?”
She nodded and quietly followed him up the stairs and to their room. Sitting on the bed, she leaned against the headboard and placed a small box in front of her. She looked sad, as if the conversation at dinner was taking a toll on her. Sitting opposite her, he looked inside the box and saw clothes, shoes, and a few toys.
She grabbed a tiny cardigan and flattened it on her lap. “Don’t hate me.” Her voice was fearful, coming out in a mere whisper.
“I’ll never hate you.” It was the truth–he loved her unconditionally.
“Promise?”
“I promise not to hate you no matter what you say next.”
She didn’t look at him, instead tilted her head down to hide her face, still holding the gray cardigan. He wanted to lean over to comfort her but decided to give her some space to speak freely.
“I should’ve run away.” Tears started to drop into her lap. “When the wolves attacked you, I should’ve listened. You were so determined, your voice was so full of pain. Instead of listening to you, I challenged that wolf like an idiot.”
He wasn’t sure what she was talking about. He had tried to tell her to run during the fight but being in his wolf form, he’d been unable to do so.Before he could ask her what she meant she continued.
“My motherly instincts should’ve made me run as fast and far away as possible. Instead, all I could think about was you and how I would rather die than be without you. The entire time I forgot about our baby. I forgot I was pregnant and didn’t think about it before, during, or after the fight.” The tears kept coming and her whole body started to shiver. “Christa had to remind me that I was pregnant and that we should check on the baby to make sure nothing had happened. I’m a horrible mother.”
The pain and guilt in her voice broke his heart. This must have really been weighing on her, and he hadn’t noticed it. How was he so blind to her struggle? He pushed aside the box between them and wrapped his arms around her while she continued sobbing.
“Even now I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I didn’t even think about clothes for our baby or where she or he will be sleeping. I don’t know what happens during or even after birth. These clothes are so tiny. What if I drop the baby? What if you’re attacked again? What if I put the baby’s life at risk again to save you? What if I don’t love that tiny fragile human as much as I should?”
As Niev started to panic her breathing sped up. He pulled her even closer and started rubbing her back.
“You’ll be a wonderful mother.”
She interrupted him in complete hysterics, her voice much higher than usual. “Blake, you don’t understand!”
“Niev, please let me finish.” He loosened his arms around her and put a finger under her chin, gently lifting her face, to make her look at him. “I’ve seen you with Darron and Alizia, and you’re amazing. The things you had to go through the last few days have been horrific. You had to make impossible decisions.” He paused so his words could sink in and wiped her tears away. “You made the right decision, no one questions that. And I don’t hate you for what could’ve happened. Isn’t that what you have told me, not to worry about what could’ve been?”
Her eyes were red and swollen, guilt clouding them.
“Maybe your body knew nothing would happen to you or the child and you trusted your ability to protect you both.”
“I didn’t even think of the baby at all. I just jumped the wolf. I forgot about our baby,” she sobbed hysterically.
“I didn’t think of anything else either. I didn’t think about how I could’ve hurt you during the fight. I could’ve killed you and our baby. You two were far too close to us, but my wolf instincts took over and I couldn’t think about anything else but to fight the other wolf. My human would’ve tried to lure the wolf away from you, but my wolf got the better of me and pushed all my human thoughts aside. Maybe deep inside of you, subconsciously you knew you and the baby would survive anything. You knew without thinking about it.”
