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“Don’t think of it that way, Gran,” I said, patting her shoulder.
“How else can I think of it?” she snapped.
“I’m performing a service, helping someone out who’d never get to experience the joy of parenthood otherwise. I’m really proud of this.”
Gran wiped her tears and looked at me long and hard. “Are they at least nice people? What are they like?”
I sighed. I’d been matched with a family that wanted total anonymity, which I’d said I was fine with on my questionnaire. I didn’t know a thing about whose baby I carried, and honestly, I was glad about it. If I met them and spent time with them, I was afraid I’d find nitpicky reasons why they wouldn’t make good parents, making it harder to let go in the end. When I admitted that to Gran, she didn’t take it well at all, wondering what would become of her grandbaby if the people were psychos.
“It’s not your grandbaby,” I said, harsher than I meant to. But I couldn’t think of it that way, and neither could she. “I’m doing another job, nothing more.”
“But why, Samantha? Why something so extreme?”
I took a deep breath. It was time to confront her. I pointed to the top shelf. “I found the doctor’s bills,” I said. “I’ve already paid one with the surrogacy money, and I’ll be able to pay off the others by the time this is over.” I crossed my arms, protecting myself from her stricken look.
To me, she was still the vibrant woman who took us in after our mom died and our dad got sent to prison. She was barely in her sixties now. She could run circles around Annie and me until her mystery illness had begun draining her energy. She shrunk into herself, pulling at her cardigan.
“You shouldn’t have done something like this,” she said. “Not without speaking to me first.” Her tears started again, but I hardened myself against them.
“You shouldn’t have kept those bills a secret, and whether or not I talked to you first wouldn’t have made them go away. This surrogacy is going to do that. Now, please, Gran. Tell me what’s wrong. What were those tests for?”
She took a shuddering breath. “I have thyroid cancer,” she said. It was my turn to start crying, only hearing the dreaded word and panicking, but she grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard. “It’s very treatable. The doctors are optimistic, but there are a lot of treatments I still haven’t decided on yet.”
“What’s there to decide?” I demanded, my tears drying up under my instant fury. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about not getting them done.”
“It’s going to be expensive, Sam. You already work so hard, and I won’t let Annie go back to public school.”
“We’ll home-school her if we have to,” I said, choking on my anger. It wasn’t so much at Gran as at the disease threatening to take her from us. “Do you think we can survive without you around? I mean it. You better take every last treatment they offer you because you can’t leave us. You can’t.”
She pushed her chair back and pulled me close for a hug. “I won’t leave you, girls,” she said. “I suppose if this surrogacy thing is a done deal, I’ll go ahead with the doctor’s plan.” When she pulled back, she looked hopeful it might not be a done deal.
“This isn’t our baby,” I said firmly. “Call the doctor today and get started.”
I was still so upset that it distracted me from my morning sickness, so I kissed her goodbye and headed to Leo’s to do a deep clean to make up for missing the day before and spewing all over his beautiful marble hallway.
On the bus, I did some research on Gran’s illness and started to feel a little better, certain that if she got the treatments, we’d have her in our lives for many more years. But it was more important than ever that I didn’t miss any more work since new bills would be rolling in soon. The surrogacy money was as good as gone now, so I couldn’t risk losing any of my jobs, especially not the highest-paying one.
Thankfully, Leo's apartment had no gun-toting men when I let myself in. I breathed out a pent-up breath and relaxed, taking in the luxurious surroundings. While the walls were papered in classic cream brocade, and the paneled wainscoting was old-world elegance, the furniture was sleek and modern. Not boring black and stainless steel, but bright colors everywhere with interesting shapes like pieces of art in every room. I loved carefully vacuuming the pomegranate red couch cushions and dusting the abstract sculptures that sat on most of the highly polished wood surfaces.
I had my basket of supplies all ready to get started when Leo called to me from his always open office as I headed toward the back guest rooms.
“Sunshine!” he said excitedly when I paused in his doorway. “Come and join me in a toast. I got some exciting news yesterday and wanted to share it with my dad and sister, but neither one of them is answering their phone, and I already popped the cork.”
He held up a bottle of champagne and looked so happy I longed to know the good news. I’d never ask. Even though he was always friendly with me, I knew my place as his employee.
I took a step into the room, drawn by his smile. “I gave up alcohol and caffeine for my health,” I said apologetically when he wilted a little. “Where’s Mr. Kuschnev?”
He scowled. “I think Gregory has what you did. He’s been sick for the last few days.”
I really didn’t think his assistant had what was making me heave at all hours of the day and night and hid a smile. “Um, congrats on whatever your good news was.”
He didn’t rise to my not-so-subtle bait to find out what had him so excited but waved me into the room. “I could never give up caffeine and alcohol at the same time,” he said. “Kudos to you, though. I’ll just pour you some juice instead since I’m determined to make this bloody toast now that the damn bottle’s open.”
His boyish exuberance melted away any last bit of anxiety I had over what had happened the day before. Whatever had him in such a good mood was infectious, and I accepted a champagne flute filled with orange juice. We clinked glasses, and I took a sip, watching him over the edge of the glass as he knocked his back.
“So, is this good news top secret?”
“For now,” he said with a grin. “You’ll know about it eventually, though.”
