AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m talking about Cam.
TWENTY-EIGHT
CAM
I’m not playing well.
The opposing team has been hard to beat every damn season since I started here and today’s game is no exception. The weather is for shit too. Gloomy with a cold wind that feels as if it’s taking every ball I’m throwing and whipping it into a different direction. I’ve thrown two interceptions in the first half, which isn’t like me. We’re still up by a touchdown at halftime, but I don’t feel good about anything I’ve done out on that field today.
Not a single thing.
“You all right?” Knox asks me as we enter the locker room.
I send him a look, not wanting to discuss my problems in front of the entire damn team. They’re all already in the locker room, watching us—me—with expectancy in their gazes. Like they want an explanation and hope I’m going to come out fighting in the second half.
Shit, I hope I can manage it.
“Fields? A word.” Coach Mattson hooks his finger at me, indicating he wants me to come into his office and talk privately.
Great.
I follow him inside, shutting the door behind me, bracing myself for a barrage of questions and not so gentle slams on my lack of skill this afternoon, but he says nothing like that.
“I’m going to put Ace out there. He’s going to start the third quarter.”
My jaw feels like it’s going to hit the floor and I snap it shut, taking a deep breath. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. You’re slipping today. I don’t know what it is and you don’t have to explain anything, but you’re not on top of your shit and it’s…worrisome, son.”
I’ll say.
“Fine. Start him.” I stand up straighter, ready to be done with this conversation. “Are we finished?”
“If he does shitty, we’re pulling him, so don’t get too comfortable on the bench.” Mattson opens his office door, ready to tear into everyone’s asses. “And yeah, we’re done.”
I follow him out of the office, hating the excitement that lights up Ace’s eyes when Coach tells him he’s starting the second half. Ace gives me a quick glance after that announcement was made, checking on me. My reaction.
I give him a nod, appreciating that little gesture of respect. The kid looks up to me and I can’t be a shit to him, just because Coach is giving him a chance. We have to play all our options, and right now, I’m a bad one.
Fuck, that hurts to admit.
I mostly ignore the inspiring speech Coach and the rest of his staff give us, zoning out. I’m tired, my mind filled with images of Blair. A naked, sweet Blair lying in bed, sleeping peacefully. I should’ve just left her there without a sound, sneaking out of her room and her apartment like a thief. Like the casual hookup I should be to her. To myself.
But I didn’t. I had to touch her. Kiss her forehead and whisper her name. Just to witness her slowly wake up, her eyes filling with a mixture of joy and confusion at finding me standing above her, at the one sweet word she murmured to me.
Stay.
Fuck, I wanted to so badly. When I first woke up, I was aware of her warm body wrapped all around me. That delicious floral scent of hers tickling my senses. She smells good. She feels good. She is inherently good. And I don’t deserve it.
I don’t deserve her.
“Don’t let this fuck with you,” Derek says after Coach’s halftime speech. He slaps the back of my head lightly, a show of affection for him. “You’re having an off-moment. It happens to all of us.”
The problem is...it never happens to me. All I can think is it has something to do with Blair.
She’s a distraction, and I can’t focus when I’m with her. Spending all my time with her is dangerous for my future. What if I’m playing so shitty, I get injured? My season is over, just like that. My possible NFL career, done for.
Can’t risk it.
