Page 8 of Playing By The Rules

This isnota lie. Ruby used to be one of the most self-centered people I knew, though that might have something to do with the fact that she’s my little sister and was always in my business, in my stuff, in my face, all the damn time when we were younger. But at her core, she cares about others. Her circle is small, just like mine. Just like Knox’s.

I prefer a smaller group of friends. People I adore and trust. People who don’t care that once upon a time, our dad was famous. My brother and sister feel the same way.

“What are you up to? How’s school? How are your roommates? Met any cute guys yet?” Ruby asks.

“Nothing much, school is going well, my roommates are okay, and no, I haven’t met any cute guys yet.” Cam doesn’t count. I’ve known him for a while, so I can’t put him in the ‘just met’ category.

“Why aren’t you hanging out with Knox and all his friends?”

I roll my eyes. “Because the majority of them are ridiculous. And Knox doesn’t want me hanging around them. He’s afraid I might run off and hook up with one of them, as if I have no control over myself.”

“Like Cam?”

Her question hangs heavy in the air, and as always, I regret that I ever told her I was interested in him.

“That was years ago. I’m over him,” I say, but I sound unconvincing even to myself.

“Liar.” Ruby laughs when I give her the finger. “It’s okay that you still have a crush on him, Blair.”

“Not when he doesn’t notice me.” I think about what he said earlier, and what I told him. I then spill my guts to my little sister, giving her an entire replay of the encounter that I had with Cam at the library.

“So, he actually said he’s thought about having sex with you?” Ruby sounds scandalized.

“And then I basically admitted the same thing.” I pause, all my insecurities rushing through me. “Was that a mistake?”

“No, not at all. I’m proud of you. How long have you been lusting after this guy again? And you only just now put it out there?”

“Stop. It’s not easy for me to say stuff like that.” I’m embarrassed. I feel like a child with a crush on some unattainable teen idol or something. Which is fairly accurate when it comes to my relationship with Cam. He feels completely out of reach. He always has.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to lift you up. It’s been a long time that you’ve felt this way about Camden Fields. I feel like you’re finally making progress.”

“Nothing happened, Ruby. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

“We all have to start somewhere, and this is your start with Cam. When do you think you’ll see him again?”

“I don’t know.” I think about the roomies going to Logan’s. “There’s a chance I could run into him tonight if I go out with the girls.”

“For all you know, you might still be on his mind. Right now is the perfect time to go out and hopefully run into him.”

“I feel like Rita and Cheyenne only want to drag me along with them because of my connection to Knox.” And I don’t like feeling used. It’s not fun. Not at all.

“So? Use that to your advantage to get closer to Cam,” Ruby points out.

“Right, only for Knox to ruin it because he’s so overprotective that he’ll drive Cam away forever.” I sound morose. Iammorose. Our brother has this way of ruining everything when it comes to guys.

Poor Knox. I know he means well, but he’s too much sometimes.

Okay fine, most of the time.

“Ugh, forget him. He can say whatever he wants, but ultimately, he doesn’t control our lives, right? I say go for it. Let Cam know you’re interested.”

“But that’s so…” Scary. Intimidating. Terrifying.

All the above.

“It’s what you need to do,” Ruby says firmly. “How else will Cam know you’re interested, if you don’t tell him?”

I wish I had even an ounce of Ruby’s confidence.

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